A Delicious Secret
by Noire.Serenada
Summary: A newbie arrives at Ikebukuro Rajin Academy High School, but is she really new? When she arrives, she accidentally gets dragged into one of the big fights between Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima and all hell ensues. Izaya x OC x Shizuo love triangle.
1. Chat rooms and how it all began

There were floating lights all around me, and I was drifting in nothingness.  
I peered at the colorful orbs bouncing from place to place through my half- closed eyes.  
As I opened them, the orbs scattered and I was falling through the darkness.  
Where was I falling to?

I was browsing through my online chat history with Kanra, Taro Tanaka and Setton on the Dollars' website. I had been invited to join a few months ago, by an anonymous text message saying:  
You have been invited to join the dollars, if you accept please send back an empty message and you will get your username and password.  
There are no rules, no orders, no restrictions. The members are free to do what it is they please.

I was intrigued and thought it a scam, but still sent back an empty message, and approximately an hour later I had already logged into the website under the username "Lokant". Needless to say, I thought it all very interesting. However the menu was confusing and I was still looking for the chatrooms when I got pm'd from a user named Kanra.

PM Mode  
Kanra: You new here?

Lokant: Yeah, still can't find the chat...

Kanra: It's in the main menu on the left handside of the screen.

I had looked, and voila! My blind eyes finally saw the small icon "chatrooms". I groaned, slamming my head on the keyboard. Baka. Baka. Baka. When I looked up at the screen, I saw I had accidentally sent a load of gibberish to Kanra when I was facekeyboarding.

Lokant: tlalvnco fmskaple,.el :$;3'oaj

Kanra: Did you just slam your forehead on the keyboard, or were you having a seizure?

Lokant: The first option.

Kanra: Thought so. So where're you from, Lokant?

Lokant: Shiki, and you?

Kanra: Ikebukuro.

Lokant: Really? I'm moving there in a few months!

Kanra: Really? That's great!

Kanra: Oh, I'm curious- are you a girl or a guy?

Lokant: Hmmmmmmm, interesting question... I'm a SWEETOOTH :P

Kanra: so a girl :D

Lokant: O.o... How'd you know?

Kanra: You just told me.

I popped a pop vein, thinking I was stupid

Lokant: So what about you?

Kanra: I'll keep that a secret for now ~

Lokant: Bleh. You're annoying.

Kanra: Glad you like me ^_^

We had continued chatting through the night, and the next day he invited me to join a chatroom he liked. His exact words were - "Fufufu, it's interesting ;)." And so I had joined the chatroom in which I'd made my first dollar friends. Kanra was annoying. Not a friend.

-Tanaka Tarou has logged in-

Tanaka Tarou: Good evening

Setton: Evening.

Saika: Good evening.

Kanra: Good good good evening! We've got a new person here with us today, so let's welcome Lokant!

Lokant: Hey guys.

Setton: Hey, Lokant, so how're you finding the Dollars?

Lokant: Fine I guess, though the gang's not as scary as everyone rumored it to be...

Kanra: There are more rumors

Lokant: And Kanra is annoying. Who agrees?

Setton: I do

Tanaka Tarou: Me too

Saika: I don't really know...

Tanaka Tarou: Come on, Saika! We all know Kanra is annoying, there's no need to be shy!

Lokant: You guys are funny. For how long have you known each other?

Kanra: For all Eternity :3

Setton: Shut up, Kanra.

Saika: W- well it's been a year maybe... Or more?

Tanaka Tarou: Probably more...

Kanra: But it's been fuuuuuuuun~

Setton: For you, Kanra?

Kanra: Awwwwwwwww, are we denying we've had fun? .=

Lokant: There is no "we", Kanra!

Kanra: You guys are being cruel TT_TT...

Kanra: Then I'll leave you~

-Kanra has logged out-

Lokant: Oh look, the annoyance has left. Good riddance.

Tanaka Tarou: Uhm, Lokant, Kanra CAN be annoying, but most of the time he's a walking information encyclopedia and he warns us of stuff we didn't even know of... So in his own way, it's like he's looking out for us...

Setton: *silence*

Saika: W- well, I agree...

Setton: You are right.

Setton: But he's still annoying!

Lokant: WAIT, SO KANRA IS A HE?

Tanaka Tarou: Didn't he tell you?

Setton: Tanaka, if Lokant is asking, it's obvious he didn't.

Lokant: Well now I know... Thanks, guys.

Setton: Welcome. Anyway, I really have to go now.

Saika: Same here.

Tanaka Tarou: Bye guys

-Setton has logged out-  
-Saika has logged out-

Lokant: Sorry, Tanaka, I have to go too

Tanaka Tarou: It's fine, we'll talk later

Lokant: Bye

-Lokant has logged out-  
-Tanaka Tarou has logged out-

I smiled, remembering that first time I'd met them online- Setton, Tanaka and Saika. It had been fun, and I was quickly accepted into the group. I made my icon visible at the website now.

-Lokant has logged in-

Lokant: Hey, anyone here?

Kanra: hellO, Lokant- chaaaan! We've just been discussing the mysterious phenomenon of the 'Black Rider'

Lokant: Oh, you mean the headless rider everyone's been scared of lately?

Kanra: You've got your information correct as usual, Lokant- chan! Where DO you find these things?

Lokant: I read =_=

Setton: I think it's just a mere rumor, and that the 'Black Rider' is simply a street biker.

Tanaka Tarou: I mean, the Black Rider can't really exist, can he?

Lokant: Awwww, Tanaka- kun, got your panties in a twist?

Tanaka Tarou: NO!

Tanaka Tarou: I just think it's scary...

Kanra: Oh, but the black rider is very real, and it doesn't have a head.

Shocked, I doublechecked the screen just to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Could it be Ikebukuro had acquired a Dulahan? I pursed my lips in thought. The last time I had heard of any such creature was in Ireland during my holidays... Then again, the Irish tend to think a black cat superstitious... Realizing I hadn't been replying to the popup messages, I snapped my eyes back to the screen and scrolled up.

Tanaka Tarou: You creeped me out, Kanra. I think I'll go to bed.

-Tanaka Tarou has logged out-

Setton: Yeah, that's just creepy. I think I'll go too.

-Setton has logged out-

Kanra: Looks like it's just me and you left, eh, Lokant?

Lokant: Yeah, speaking of which, why did you creep poor Tanaka out like that?

Kanra: I was simply telling the truth.

Lokant: Oh REALLY? A Dulahan in IKEBUKURO? How is THAT the truth?

I fumed, and as the minutes ticked by, and I gradually cooled, I realized there was silence in the chatroom.

Lokant: Kanra?

Kanra: Hmm? Oh yes, sorry for not replying. I was just looking things up. You're arriving at Ikebukuro tomorrow, right?

Lokant: You're avoiding the topic, but yes.

Kanra: There are two people you need to beware of there, Lokant- chan.

Lokant: Really? Whom?

Kanra: Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara. Now, ta ta, I need to get going~

Lokant: See you I hope...

Kanra: Why the pessimistic mood?

Lokant: Oh, no reason. It just seems our chat about the Dulahans has been deleted some minutes ago...

Kanra: Oh really? Hm, must be a system glitch. Anyways, bye bye~

-Kanra has logged out-  
-Lokant has logged out-

I tilted back in my chair, closing my eyes as the screen went black.  
Tomorrow I'd be in Ikebukuro. A place I'd wanted to move to all my life. And I'd see him again. Probably. No, most certainly. What would my reaction be? Would I slap him? Or would I hug the idiot? Would he even remember me? Recognize me? I sighed. No use dwelling on it, I'll find out tomorrow.


	2. First day in Ikebukuro

Falling through the darkness isn't that bad.  
That is, if you know where you're falling to.  
Thankfully for me, I do.  
And I have the glowing orbs to guide me on my way.

I stretched in my semi- comfortable black school uniform (since I was in twelfth grade, I could be spared from wearing the horrible blue one most lower classes wore), exiting Rajin Academy. The school was quite nice, and so were most students. So was my flat, for that matter! I was so absorbed in thinking about decorating my new flat that I bumped into someone, and crashed to the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" - said a black- haired boy, who was also on the pavement, books scattered.  
"It's fine, here, let me help you." - I started gathering his books up when I heard a wolf- whistle and a blond guy came running over to us.  
"Hey Mikado, why didn't you tell me you've got a girlfriend? Hm? Oh, and she's so pretty too!"  
"Masaomi!" - Mikado hushed who could only be his best friend with an embarrassed look on his face. I turned to them with a smile, and Masaomi pulled me up.  
"Well hellO there, boobylicious! You have to excuse my friend here- he's very VERY shy and he's NEVER had anything to do with women before. So young, and so inexperienced...*he dramatically sighed*... So, ravishing beauty, might I ask what your name is?" - he bowed, kissing my hand and smiling. Then, as I was about to reply, he hushed me. "I know, I know, let me guess! Give me a second to think! AHA! You're Hime, aren't you?" - he exclaimed triumphantly, as I paused, considering. And I accepted the nickname.  
"Masaomi, don't be ridiculous!" - sweatdropped Mikado.  
"As a matter of fact, my name is Hime." - I said, grinning at their shocked looks. "But I'm not telling you my surname, because my address is in the school register book where anyone can see it, and I don't want stalkers coming after me..."  
I paused as they Masaomi erupted into fits of laughter, probably imagining the shy Mikado as a stalker.  
"Well then, nice to meet you, Hime- chan." - squeezed out Masaomi after a fit of laughter. "I'm Masaomi Kida, as you probably already know, and this here is my best friend Mikado Ryugamine! Care to join us, oh noble princess?"  
"That is, if you're free and don't have anything else to do." - butted in Mikado, as I giggled slightly.  
"I'm going to buy a few things now, but I can join you later.. And *I winked at Masaomi*.. I can teach you how to pick up girls."  
Masaomi's reaction was instantaneous! He began jumping up and down and rubbing his head on my hand like a lost puppy, while Mikado tried to drag him away from me. As he successfully dragged Masaomi away, I waved to them and indicated his pocket. He pulled out a strip of paper with my number on it and grinned. Then he was gripped into a headlock by Masaomi and spirited away.

I spent my time walking around IKEA- like places, choosing furniture and decorations for my bare flat. Then I sketched where I wanted the stuff I bought put and gave it along with a pair of spare keys to the delivery- assembly guy. Then I merrily skipped to where Masaomi and Mikado were. I didn't even need to read the message to know where they were. Oh right, I didn't tell you yet, did I? I'm not exactly human- and thanks to that I can sense where the people I need are. I'm sort of a Dulahan, but I'm not at the same time. My mother was a Dulahan, and my father was a 'passing' human. So I ended up having the outward appearance of a human (with my head attached to my body), but the inner consistency of a true Dulahan. And yes, I also have the weird black shadows that all Dulahans seem to emit.  
Anyway, I had stopped skipping and was running towards where I saw Masaomi Kida's blond hair pop out from the crowd, when my steps slowed and I saw him. Orihara Izaya himself standing next to Masaomi, Mikado and a girl I didn't know, calmly talking to them. Then my Dulahan shadows rang an alarm bell, feeling a familiar presence, and in a split second I sprinted towards Izaya, making my decision.  
"IZAYA!" - I yelled, launching myself off the pavement and tightly gripping his coat as we tumbled to the ground, a huge trashcan sailing just above my head in the place Izaya had been a second ago. I snapped my head up a second later, forgetting about Izaya as I saw the cringed expressions of Masaomi and the girl I recognized to be Anri, and the absolutely unfazed and passive one of Mikado. Then I remembered about Izaya as the body beneath me shifted and I found myself in the broker's lap in a very revealing position. I blushed crimson as I was easily picked up from the ground by a slightly surprised Izaya, and gently set down onto solid concrete. He glanced at me.  
"Violet..."  
"Izaya." - I glanced back at him and suddenly found myself being pushed behind him. I was about to protest when I saw _him_. Shizuo Heiwajima, his glorious self, and pissed as all hell. I'd only seen him from afar before, and when Izaya had told me about him. Well, there's always a first time, as the saying goes...  
"Well- well, what's up, Izaya? Didn't I tell you not to ever set foot in Ikebukuro again? You remember that, Izaya? Don't cha?"  
"Shizu- chan, last I heard you got some gig working over by the west gate."  
"Heh, I got fired ages ago. And I'm pretty sure I've told you never to call me that. My name's Shizuo Heiwajima, try to get it right."  
"Oh come on, Shizu- chan, you're still mad I blamed you for that crime?" - Izaya mocked.  
"Oh I'm not mad. I just wanna beat the shit out of you."  
"You know, the problem with you is that you can't even see logic or reason when you're mad. I don't like it. Now let us go." - Izaya threatened, pulling out his pocketknife. My heart skipped a beat when I noticed he said us, and then I noticed Anri was shaking in fear and my heartbeat returned to normal. Poor girl.  
"I don't care what you like, flea. Step away from the girl so I can kick your ass."  
Then everyone was interrupted by a gang of guys running towards us and surrounding us.  
"There he is! That's the guy! No pumpkin ass son of a bitch gets to make a fool out of me!" - yelled an idiotic- looking gangleader. I dramatically sighed, catching Izaya's attention.  
"What did you do now?" - I whispered to him.  
"I'll tell you later. Now let's watch how this unfolds."  
"Yeah, you don't go picking a fight with the Dollars! What's with the bartender?"  
"I dunno, he wasn't here a minute ago... That's... Shizuo Heiwajima?"  
"What the hell do you want?" - growled Shizuo, and the gang withdrew slightly, and then one guy lost his mind from the fear and ran at Shizuo, breaking a wooden club over his head. There were slight murmurs, and the gang looked pleased to see he was human. Then THE Shizuo awoke.  
"You aimed for my head. You had to know a blow like that could kill a guy, right? And this means that you were intentionally trying to kill me, right? So then, whatever happens next, is what you deserve, RIGHT?" - I calmly watched as he punched the unfortunate guy so hard, his clothes flew off. Yup, they had pissed him off even more than Izaya had. I stifled a giggle behind my hand and Izaya knowingly smiled. No, he didn't know I was part Dulahan, if that's what you're thinking. He just knew I found things other people didn't find funny hilarious. Shizuo tried to gather himself for a moment, and then with a growl he lunged headfirst into beating the shit out of the false Dollars.  
"Well, have fun!" - Izaya waved at Shizuo and pulled me along with him.  
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" - bellowed Shizuo and picked up a vending machine.  
"Ummm, Izaya, vending machine on course straight behind us." - I informed the red- eyed devil. Then, as Shizuo flung the vending machine, and I prepared to push both of us out of the way AGAIN, Simon jumped from a rooftop and caught the thing, skidding to a halt not far from us.  
"Simon, what are you doing?"  
"Shizuo, you always bad."  
"Shut up and stay out of my WAY!" - he yelled and ran at Simon, and incredibly (okay, not incredibly, I knew how strong the Russian was) he stopped his punch.

"Zdravstvui, Simon!" - I waved at the black russian.  
"O, Violetta, horosho tebia opiat videt.*he turned to Izaya* Now get yourself and the girl out of here, Izaya."  
"Uvidimsya!" - I yelled as Izaya practically dragged me away.  
"Now will you tell me what you did?" - I enquired, running by his side.  
"All in sweet time, see ya later, Vivi!" - he winked at me and disappeared down a side alley. I groaned. He certainly hasn't changed. I walked around town for a bit more, and then returned to my flat. Too tired to admire the decorations and new furniture, I locked the door, opened my window slightly (50th floor has fresh air after all) and fell onto my bed in my clothes, falling asleep shortly after.

*  
"Hello, Simon!"  
"Oh, Violetta (russian version of Violet), nice to see you again."  
"See you later!"


	3. More fun

The shadows surround me.  
Swirling in different shades.  
But they seem strangely calming.  
Maybe it's because they're a part of me?

I dreamed.  
I had strange dreams.  
I dreamt that Izaya had climbed into my flat from the window...  
That was ridiculous though, I lived on the 50th floor. It was impossible any way you looked at it- the huge glass windows were closed and there was no ladder or handholds you could grip onto. The door was metal, sturdy and it had three locks. The only window that was open was the one next to my bed, but it had been drilled through the wall. So beneath the window there was a sheer concrete wall drop.  
Right. Absolutely impossible.  
I stretched, getting off, and padded over to my computer. Then I noticed I was comfortable. Let me emphasize that. COMFORTABLE.  
You CAN'T be COMFORTABLE after spending a night fully dressed and in school uniform with a tie. I bolted to the mirror, to see myself in my favorite purple pj's., and on the table behind me was a bulochka s koricey i glazur'uy No way. NO way. NO FUCKING WAY! HOW DID HE GET IN?  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" - I squeaked, freaked out, as the doorbell rang. Sighing, I opened the door to someone who was probably a welcoming neighbor.  
"Yes?" - I asked, facing a spectacled guy in a lab coat who stood absentmindedly looking through me.  
"Oh, hello! You must be my new neighbor!" - he cheerfully said and stretched out a hand, and I shook it, slightly dazed.  
"Hello, and you are..?"  
"Oh, my bad, how rude of me. I'm Shinra Kishitani, pleased to make your acquaintance."  
I looked him up and down.  
"Are you a doctor or something?" - I enquired, eying his white coat.  
"You couldn't be more right!" - he twirled around. "Like it?"  
I edged away from him.  
"Erm, I'm fine with that, just keep the needles away from me." - I shivered, and to my surprise he began laughing.  
"Needlephobia?"  
"You couldn't be more right." - I echoed him. "Oh, by the way, I'm Violet." - I said, remembering I hadn't introduced myself, and beamed at him. For a moment he seemed flustered, then he beamed just as positively back at me.  
"Sooooo, I'm here to welcome you to our humble floor. If you need anything, let me know!"  
"Sure." - I grinned at the young doctor.  
"Well see you around, Violet- chan!" - he seemed fun, and I waved at him as he turned to leave. Then my attention was drawn to the woman coming out of the hallway. A woman clad in a black latex suit and a cat helmet on her head. My eyes grew wide as I felt the familiar pull of shadows coming from her. No way.  
"DULAHAN!" - I burst out, unable to contain myself, and jumped, glomping the woman. In the process her helmet fell off, revealing her probably lost head. Shinra and the woman stared in shock and slowly dawning horror.  
"Y- You're a Dulahan, I was RIGHT!" - I squealed in joy, hugging the woman around her middle. "Awww, what's with the suddenly surprised and hostile look?" - I asked the headless rider.  
"You can understand her expressions?" - asked Shinra in surprise, and I stuck my tongue out at him, being childish.  
"Course I do, I spent most of my life talking that way with my mother." - I stated and then paled as they both stared at me. Then the woman took out a cellphone and began typing on it to show Shinra.  
"Shinra, this girl isn't human!"  
"Why do you think so, Celty?"  
"Ah, Celty, is it? That's a beautiful name!" - I butted in as she stood up, me still locked to her waist.  
"She's got the feeling a Dulahan has." - typed Celty, and Shinra straightened his glasses, looking at me expectantly. I sighed.  
"Well I guess it can't hurt, if you don't tell anyone about this." - I mumbled... Especially if Izaya finds out about this- I'm DOOMED. Taking a deep breath, I let my shadows out and they filled the room, brushing over Shinra and sticking to Celty, happy to finally have another Dulahan near.

Several hours later.  
"So then my human parents died from old age, and I decided to move to Ikebukuro from Shiki in several years." - I finished my story.  
"I still can't believe you're part human, you feel like a true Dulahan to me..." - typed Celty  
"Well I AM a true Dulahan on the inside, my outward appearance is human." - I huffed.  
"I didn't mean to offend you."  
"It's fine, Celty. As I understand it, you've got it worse than me- losing your head and most memories."  
She nodded, but a small smile graced her shadows. "YOU'RE SO CUTE WHEN YOU SMILE, CELTYYYYYY!" - I glomped her.  
"Basically your body stopped aging at 18?" - asked a very interested Shinra.  
"Yeah.."  
"So how old are you now?"  
"Eh? *I began counting on my fingers* Well that would be around 35 I think. I'm quite young for a Dulahan..." - I trailed off, lapsing into thought, distracted slightly by Celty furiously typing something to Shinra. He read it, laughing, and handed the PDA to me.  
"Can we keep her?" - Celty had written, and I beamed at the thought that she liked me. My mother had left me (assuming I was a mortal creature because I continued to grow) after teaching me how to use my powers and communicate with other Dulahans. Thankfully, an old married couple had picked me up and raised me as their own. I had really loved the old dearies. I hadn't wanted them to die... I only noticed I had become immortal when my periods had stopped. I had been a human for almost exactly 18 years, and then my immortal Dulahan genes had decided to kick in. I returned to reality when I heard the doorbell ring. I turned to Shinra.  
"Were you guys expecting anyone?"  
"Hmmmmm, come to think of it, no..." - he jumped up and started running to the door.  
"Oi, Shinra! First look and tell me who it is!" - I quickly whispered, having my suspicions.  
"Oh. *he sounded surprised* It's Izaya."  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" - I hissed, immediately looking around for a hiding place.  
"You know him, Violet?" - typed Celty  
"Yes, and I'd prefer he didn't see me with you now. I'll explain later. NOW PLEASE HELP ME HIDE!" - I whispered urgently, as the doorbell rang again. Shinra motioned for us to go.  
"I'll keep him busy for a bit." - he whispered back to us, and as we went into Celty's room and locked it, I heard the familiar drawling voice asking Shinra to go introduce himself to the new girl later on and give her her second pair of keys back. I silently fumed, struggling with the desire to go strangle him and stay silent. After Izaya left, and our trio was comfortably seated with cups of tea, Celty watching me eat in fascination, I started my story of how I met Izaya.

~Memories~  
It all began approximately 5-4 years ago, when I was sick and tired of living a prosperous but boring life as an architect- renovator- designer in Shiki.  
I had successfully finished high school, a linguistical and criminological college shortly afterwards. I had also gotten a professional architect's degree. So money wasn't a problem for me, as you see. My tastes were quite popular with people, and rich ladies paid me a lot of money to redecorate their huge homes. At first I was quite satisfied- with my shadows I could easily finish what most furnishers couldn't do in a week in a day. I could keep my identity a secret from normal people, and communicate only with those who needed me. Then I grew sick of that boring life. The rich were always lying, gossiping, telling false rumors. It was disgusting. So I decided to set out and explore Tokyo. When I got there, I was sucked in by the colorful and beating heart of the city. Everything seemed so alive after that dead town. The city absorbed me. I spent time walking around, drinking in the sights and observing people. It became a sort of hobby of mine- to be able to tell who the person truly was. I also came up to random people and dared them to do completely random things. Some agreed, some didn't, some thought I was a highschooler doing it for fun and joined in... That's when I also started off my other hobby being an information broker. Well not exactly a broker. More like a walking secret information encyclopedia. Heheh. What I did was drift around gangs and dangerous people in the shadows, without them noticing me, and - I paused, Celty was typing something.

Pause  
"How do you mean they couldn't see you? That's not possible..."  
"Oh yes it is. All Dulahans have a sort of 'specialty' unique to them in their powers. Mine is this." - I stood off the sofa, letting my shadows drift around the shadow of Shinra, and then stepped into it and fell into them.  
"Violet? Where are you?" - asked a panicked Shinra.  
"Here." - my voice came from his shadow, and I emerged from it, flopping back onto the sofa. "As you see, my unique 'specialty' is walking through shadows. I actually became an urban legend in Shinjuku after one guy saw me getting out of his shadow. They nicknamed me the 'Shadow Walker'. It was quite funny actually. Now that we've gone over this, let me continue."  
"Please do."  
"So I drifted around gangs and dangerous people in their shadows, listening to everything and finding out quite interesting things. That's how I know so much stuff about what's happening here. Over time, I even developed my own branch of information seekers who still work for me. Most of them are in Izaya's employ though. Oh right, how I met Izaya."

Back to story  
I was strolling along Ikebukuro, and had paused in a side alley to talk to Simon in Russian, who was passing by (yes, I know the guy and the language) when I heard someone yelling. I peered out of the narrow alley to stare in shock as a lamp pole came flying out of nowhere, almost falling on top of a teen running away from it.  
"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - came another yell, and I sweatdropped. Meanwhile the guy named Izaya was running closer and closer to where I was safely hidden from view behind a huge fallen manga advertisement, which almost covered the alley. Wait, could he be... I shook the thought off. Irrelevant. Sighing, I decided to do the thing that would change my life from then on. As Izaya ran past, I grabbed him by his collar and yanked him behind the ad, as ANOTHER lantern fell with a resounding crash right where he had been a moment ago. Then I paused to grab his hand and run like hell through the winding alleyways to where I was sure the guy following us would lose us. Wait. What 'us'? I shook my head in mid- run, feeling slightly stupid. Then, as we ran up a rickety metal staircase, and stopped at the roof, I let go of his hand and proceeded to pant.  
"Thanks for saving me back there." - drawled the guy and I turned to him.  
"Your welcome, I guess."  
"Why did you do it though?"  
"Eh?"  
"Could it be that you like me?"  
"EHHHHHH? *I backed away from him* Listen, pal, I'm not even from here and I don't know who the heck you are. So no, I don't like you."  
"Then why did you help me?" - he asked, slightly surprised. "There must be a reason..." - he mused  
"I was talking with a friend, I heard a yell, moved, saw a FLYING lamppost, saw you running from whomever had thrown the lamppost, decided to help the guy who was about to die." - I plainly stated.  
"Ah. That clears the confusion up." - he said matter- of- factly, as if I'd been the one to suggest he liked me. I sighed, and turned to leave when he caught my hand. "So who are you again?" - I slapped his hand away.  
"I am Violet. And there IS no again, this is the first time I'm telling you anything. *then, as an afterthought, I added* And the last."  
"Awww, why so mean, Vi- chan?"  
"Not mean. And don't call me Vi, my name is Violet."  
"I do have to repay you for generously saving my skin back then."  
I paused, halfway down the stairway.  
"Frappe, russian sushi and bulochka s koricey i glazur'uy." - I said, turning back to him. (bun with cinnamon and icing- it's a russian dish)  
"Ah,vy govorite po russky?" - he asked, interested. (oh, you speak russian?)  
"Konechno. No davaite pereidem na anglyiski?" - (Of course, but let's switch to english)  
"Bez problem." - (no problem) "Then I'll take you to a place nearby, it's called Russian Sushi, the chef is russian and I'm sure he'd be happy to make a russian dish for one of his fellow people."  
"I know the place, but just in case you lead and I'll watch out for the guy who tried to kill you." - I said, and he skipped ahead of me. I rolled my eyes- the guy was strange. Along the way, he kept glancing back at me. I could see he was interested. Back then, I didn't know that when Izaya Orihara got interested in you, it was a bad thing. For most people, that is.  
We skipped to the Russian Sushi restaurant. I mean, he skipped and I walked. Simon welcomed us in, giving Izaya a weird look, and welcoming me as usual. He seated us at a table far away from other people (not that there were many), and left with our orders.  
"So, Violet, where are you from? Russia?"  
I snorted into my unsweetened frappe, almost choking.  
"Do I look russian to you?"  
"Not really. You look more like you're from somewhere south- west of Tokyo..." - he trailed off, waiting for my reaction.  
"Guess on." - I encouraged him. "It's the least I can do to entertain you since you're paying for the meal."  
"Hmmm, I would say somewhere around Kodaira? No, that's too far west. Niiza? No. Ah, I got it. You're from Shiki." - I gazed at him, remembering what my 'spy' line had told me about him.  
"Your reputation does you justice, Izaya Orihara. Your information is up- to- date and correct."  
He gave a little mock bow.  
"And you said you didn't know me..."  
"You said you didn't know me either." - I reminded him, popping a sushi into my mouth and scrunching my eyes shut with delight.  
"I make it my duty to know things about interesting people in the city."  
"And what's so interesting about me?"  
"You seem to know some of the things only I should know." - he leaned in across the table, and as he was about to say something else, I stuffed one of my favorite sushi into his mouth, and he almost choked.  
"Shut up and eat." - bewildered, he began to chew, and I watched his expression turn to surprise. "What, you weren't expecting it to be so delicious?"  
"Well last time one of my contacts ate here, he got so sick he had to be hospitalized. I didn't dare try the food after that... Is it all so delicious?"  
I giggled, offering him the plate.  
"No, you just have to know what's good and what's not."  
"And you seem to have good taste." - he complimented me as I sipped my frappe and nodded, acknowledging the compliment.  
"Who was chasing after you?"  
"Oh, that was Shizuo Heiwajima."  
"THE Shizuo Heiwajima?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why was he running after you?"  
"He wanted to kick my ass, as he phrased it."  
"Why did he want to kick your ass?"  
"He hates me."  
"Why does he hate you?"  
"Because I framed him for a crime he didn't commit."  
"Why did you do that?"  
"Because I hate him."  
"Why?"  
"My- my, you ask too many 'why's'." - he smiled at me, and I shrugged.  
"It's my nature. I'm curious about most things, and I ask many questions. My favorite one is 'why' though. I don't even know why."  
"I see. Anyway, Vi- chan, I have to go now! Ta ta, see you later! Oh, and the meal is paid for, don't worry."  
I sighed to myself. He WAS interesting.

A week later. At the sushi place.  
I was calmly eating a very very late supper (I couldn't sleep) when a buoyant Izaya skipped in, saw me and promptly seated himself at my table.  
"HelloO, Vi- chan! Now it is my turn." - I blankly stared at him.  
"Your turn for what?"  
"Why, to ask questions of course!"  
"Ask away then." - I said, continuing to sip at my green tea.  
"Why did you come here?"  
"To have fun."  
"And really?"  
"To have fun and annoy the great notorious Izaya Orihara by hearing, getting and selling secret information earlier than he even catches a whiff of it." - I confessed truthfully  
"Why?"  
"Because I guess I wanted to know you." - I answered after a pause, sorting out my thoughts.  
"And why would you want that, Violet- chan?" - he enquired, intrigued with me.  
"Because you're interesting."  
"I see." - he smiled in what could be satisfaction, and leaned back into the padded seat.  
"Oi, no perverted thoughts!" - I warned him, shaking my bun in a threatening manner at him.  
"I wasn't even thinking of anything like THAT, Violet- chan! *he threw his hands up innocently*... But now that you've mentioned it..."  
I slapped him on the head with the bun, smearing icing all over his black hair. He looked shocked, to say the least. I giggled.  
"What, not used to being treated as a normal person, Izaya- kun?" - I asked innocently, and a second later he was over me, slamming me onto the floor off the chair. (thank goodness no one was around since it was quite late)  
"What are you playing at?" - he said coldly, as I squirmed, trying to get away from him, and gasped as I felt his long cold fingers ironly gripping my throat and slowly closing off my oxygen supply.  
"Let.. Me.. Go... Izaya..."  
"Not until you tell me what you're playing at."  
"Izaya! - I squirmed, my vision dotting black."  
"Tell me." - he calmly said, tightening his grip so I almost choked.  
"You... Wouldn't believe... me.." - I whispered.  
"Try me."  
"I..." - I started to answer him, but my consciousness slipped away. Izaya seemed to realize he had almost throttled me, and he loosened his grip. As my vision was dancing in spots and I was gulping for air, the man least expected walked in. He turned to us, and when he saw Izaya choking some girl, you could say he went berserk.  
"IZAYA, get off the girl!" - he growled, coming closer to us. Izaya jumped up, and, blowing a kiss to me, he danced off.  
"See you later, Vi- chan! And don't think this is over."  
Shizuo ran after him outside, probably forgetting about me, and I sat up trying to regain my heartbeat. Ouch. Izaya must really have never been treated as a normal person before. I heard footsteps, got up, swaying, and exited via the rear door.  
"Hey, girl, are you alright?" - asked Shizuo to the empty room. "Huh? She was here a second ago. Shouldn't have run after that flea." - I heard him grumble to himself. Right, what do I say to Izaya when he corners me again? That I love him? Meh, cheesy, and he would never believe me... I could say... Wait, this might actually work! I could say he was my idol... Bleh. Even worse. WHAT DO I SAY?  
Maybe.. I'll just say what I think will be correct judging by his reaction.

Two days later.  
"Izaya, get out. I know you've been following me from Shinjuku station."  
"You've got sharp eyes. Care to tell me what you're playing at?" - he emerged seemingly from the shadows.  
"I wanted to learn from you."  
"Huh?"  
"You heard me. I wanted to learn from the greatest info broker ever. Adding to that fact is that you're a genius masterplayer, and you use everyone like chess or shogi pieces. You know everything that's going on in this city, and you play their game, tricking them into thinking that it is their game at all, taking over it and tweaking it to better suit your purposes, or simply just for amusement."  
He stared at me, surprised, then backed me into a wall and tilted my head up, gazing into my eyes.  
"Incredible. *he murmured*... I've never seen a human like you. You seem to truly admire me, and not just one part of me like the girls do. You don't trick yourself into thinking I'm different, that I'm not what I show to other people. You admire the man standing before you completely and utterly, you know what I truly am and you don't lie to yourself about it." - he observed me for a few minutes more, then turned and left.  
"I... z...a...y...a?" - I stuttered, relieved he had believed me. Well most of what I had said was true...  
"Oh yeah, come to Shibuya station tomorrow at eight. I'll be waiting."  
"Eight morning or night?" - I called out, panicking, and he tossed me a cellphone.  
"It has my number on it. I'll call you tomorrow." - without further ado, he disappeared. I stood there, looking at the spot he had been standing in for a minute or two, and then I hugged the cellphone to my chest and smiled, a strange warm feeling spreading through me... Izaya... He was fun.

Memories end  
"Heeeeeyyyyyy, tell us some more!" - whined Shinra, as I yawned, stretching out on the couch.  
"Tomorrow. Now lemme sleep." - I said, and snuggled up to Celty, falling asleep with a smile on my face after listening to Shinra complain.  
~Izaya~


	4. More memories

The memories brighten,  
The longing increases.  
Feelings long hidden begin to resurface.  
Could it be...?

"Goooooood morning, Violet! Rise and shine!" - said a very hyper Shinra, shaking me awake. I groaned, and turned away from him. Then, as he still continued to pester me, I used my shadows to hang him upside down out of the window. He was still dangling when Celty came in and stared.  
"Why hadn't I ever thought of that?" - she typed, asking me.  
"Because you don't really need to sleep as much as I do, Celty."  
"Oh, right."  
"Ummmmmm, Violet dear, do you mind letting me down now?" - Shinra asked, dizzy. I contemplated for a moment, then carefully lowered him onto the sofa next to me and retracted my shadow.  
"VIOLET! Tell us more about Izaya, you promised yesterday!" - furiously typed Celty. I sighed, went to get some tea, and, sitting down again, continued my story.

~Memories~  
BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP  
I groped for whatever was causing the annoying noise, and ended up falling off my bed in the process. Now completely awake, I searched for the source of the disturbance, wondering what it was, and saw a light to my left. As I came closer I noticed it was a phone. The phone Izaya had given me.  
"Hello?"  
"Ah, Vi- chan, I was wondering when you'd pick up!"  
"Did I oversleep or something?"  
"Of course not! To make sure you won't oversleep, I'm calling you now."  
"Oh. WAIT, WHAT? What time is it now?"  
"Hmmm, around four in the morning."  
"WHAT?"  
"Yes, quite unbelievable for you to be awake, right?"  
"I-Z-A-Y-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - I yelled, mimicking Shizuo at that moment and completely understanding why he hated Izaya.  
"Yes, Vi- chan?" - he asked innocently  
"You're dead. DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME?"  
"My- my, Vi- chan, you're starting to sound like Shizuo.. Anyway, be at Shinjuku station today at eight in the morning, ta ta."  
I heard short beeps, signifying he had hung up. I stood there for a moment with the phone still at my ear, then walked to the window, calmly opened it, and just as calmly threw it out of the window. I watched it fall 30 floors and crash to the pavement, shattering into a million pieces. Satisfied, I crawled under the covers of the king- size bed in the apartment I was renting and fell asleep. I felt quite cold a few hours later, and somewhere in my submerged consciousness I realized I had forgotten to close the window. But I was too sleepy to get up and do anything about it. I curled up in a ball, shivering slightly. Then, abruptly, the cold air ceased and I felt quite warm. I uncurled and stretched out.  
A few hours later, or maybe a day later, I turned and snuggled into the warm something next to me, and the something began to stroke my head as I purred. Then my eyes snapped open, and I came face- to- face with Izaya Orihara lying on my bed, and I was snuggling into his chest! I blinked, thinking it was all a dream, then sat up and started rubbing my eyes.  
"Goooooooooood MORNING, Violet- chaaaaaaaan!" - he beamed at me as I finally accepted I wasn't dreaming.  
"GET AWAY FROM ME, PERVERT!" - I yelled, falling off the bed and crawling away from him. He stood up, stretched, and I noticed he wasn't wearing his coat. I frantically looked him up and down to make sure he wasn't missing any pieces of clothing and reassure myself that he hadn't violated me in any way.  
"Awwww, Vi- chan, that's just mean... I wouldn't dream of doing anything to you without your invitation."  
"INVITATION? I wouldn't even dream EVER inviting the likes of YOU to do ANYTHING like THAT with ME of all people!" - I fumed, and he pulled a face.  
"And that's just cruel..." - he said, turning away from me. After a bit, I heard sobs. EH? Worried and wary, I crawled up to him, thinking he really WAS crying. I touched his shoulder.  
"Izaya?"  
"AHA!"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" - I screamed, falling off the bed as he whipped around when I touched him and rubbed his nose against mine. He started laughing.  
"Really, Vi- chan, you DO care about me!"  
"W- why d- did y- you do that?" - I stuttered, moving into the farthest corner of the room for good measure.  
"Why, to observe your reaction, of course."  
"WHY?"  
"I believe you owed me a bit of entertainment after you threw my phone from the window, don't you think?"  
"Oh, sorry about that." - I apologized, still unbelieving I actually felt guilty.  
"Well in any case, I've got the phone's worth. *I sighed in relief*... For now. " - he added, and I froze.  
"What do you mean by "for now"?"  
"Oh, nothing much, Vi- chan. By the way, open that when I'm gone. *he gestured at a blue package on the table* And since you conveniently overslept today, I'll meet you at your place tomorrow. I'll just ring the doorbell, ok?"  
"Alright. Wait, what do you mean by 'convenient'?"  
"I just heard Shizu- chan's having a big brawl with some gang today."  
" 'Some' gang? Why no specifics?"  
"Why, because I wouldn't want you to get hurt, Vi- chan!" - he stated, skipping over to me and backing me into the wall. Too close.  
"Too close, Izaya." - I muttered, pushing him away from me with a slight blush.  
"Anyways, I gotta run, see ya later!" - he said, skipping over to the door.  
"Um, I...z...a...y...a..." - I whispered, my fringe hiding my eyes from view as he stopped at the doorway.  
"Yes?"  
"B- be careful." - I mumbled under my breath, but he heard and grinned a Cheshire grin  
"Don't worry your pretty little head, you won't even realize I'm back! Ta ta~"  
The door slammed shut, and a smile graced my face. At least, until I went to lock the door and found the keys were missing.  
"I- Z- A- Y- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - I mentally bellowed.


	5. Days of Izaya

September 6tH

After I had finally calmed down, I decided to go check the parcel. I warily approached it with a duster, and after poking it for a bit and deciding it was safe, I brought it to the bed. I carefully unfolded the shimmering blue packaging, under which a brand- new telephone box was hiding. I unpacked the phone, going through layers of protection, a sim card package, earphones, a memory stick, a phone case and finally withdrew the phone itself. A toned silver, it was very lightweight, slim and perfectly fit in my hand. I really had no idea what the brand was- I didn't have need or use for a phone before, and gadgets apart from computers didn't really interest me back then. I opened it, admiring the sleek metallic surface. Man, Izaya had good taste.

Several hours later I had read, researched and learnt most things about cell phones, and I had also found out that the phone Izaya had generously given me was not only perfect in outer view and texture, but also in its' technical abilities. It was powerful enough to hack into other computers wirelessly, as long as the computers were connected to one proxy server. The phone was absolutely perfect. The best part was that any technical parts of the "insides" of the phone could be easily changed to newer ones, and the software programming just as easily updated.  
BZING  
BZZZZZING  
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING  
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING  
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING  
"Coming, COMING!" - I yelled to the door. I mean, Izaya behind the door.  
"HellO, Vi- Vi!"  
"Izaya, come in. You're just in time for tea." - I said, shutting the door behind him.  
"I take it you liked the present?" - he asked, grinning.  
"Liked is not the word! I ADORED it! You got me interested in electronics!"  
"So you weren't interested in electronics before?"  
"Not really. I didn't have need for them. Anyway, sit down and tell me about Shizuo while I get tea ready." - I said, pouring him a cup.  
"Well there isn't much to say... The only interesting thing about him is his super- human strength."  
"Which I noticed already. Hell, how can you even PULL a LAMPPOST out of CONCRETE?"  
"That is something we'll never know unless Shizuo decides to calmly talk with me."  
"Which is impossible?"  
"Pretty much. Oh, what's this?" - he had silently come up beside me and poked a finger into the cream-topped cupcakes I had set near his cooling teacup.  
"Izaya! Hands off!" - I squealed, pushing him away as he licked the topping off his finger.  
"Mmmm, this is good! Vi- chan, you're a good cook!" - he exclaimed, sitting down back at the table and taking his coat off.  
"Glad you like it. NOW you can dig in." - I proclaimed, setting down the tea and cupcakes.  
We moved to the sofa after tea, and he started "instructing" me in the basics of "messing with people's minds". I enjoyed every minute of it. Sure, he was crazy. Sure, he was creepy at times. Sure, he was despicable at times. But all those qualities made him the unique person that he was. I'd truly never met anyone like him before.  
"Vi- chan? Vi- chan? *he waved a hand in front of my face* Are you even listening to me?"  
"Of course I am, Izaya." - I snapped out of my daze, slapping his hand away.  
"Good. Now, as I was saying, I'll teach you to play the game of chess first, then shogi and if you've learnt those well enough, I'll teach you othello."  
"AWESOME, so then I'll be able to play the twisted chess game you play?"  
"There's a high probability of that. Okay, now calm down and listen." - he told me, and I sat next to him hugging a pillow as he began explaining. "Chess is a game played between two opponents on opposite sides of a board containing 64 squares of alternating colors. Each player has 16 pieces: 1 king, 1 queen, 2 rooks, 2 bishops, 2 knights, and 8 pawns. The goal of the game is to checkmate the other king. Checkmate happens when the king is in a position to be captured (in check) and cannot escape from capture. Everything clear so far?"  
"Yup."

"Good. At the beginning of the game the chessboard is laid out so that each player has the white (or light) color square in the bottom right-hand side. The chess pieces are then arranged the same way each time. The second row (or rank) is filled with pawns. The rooks go in the corners, then the knights next to them, followed by the bishops, and finally the queen, who always goes on her own matching color (white queen on white, black queen on black), and the king on the remaining square. The player with the white pieces always moves first. Therefore, players generally decide who will get to be white by chance or luck such as flipping a coin or having one player guess the color of the hidden pawn in the other player's hand. White then makes a move, followed by black, then white again, then black and so on until the end of the of the 6 different kinds of pieces moves differently. Pieces cannot move through other pieces (though the knight can jump over other pieces), and can never move onto a square with one of their own pieces. However, they can be moved to take the place of an opponent's piece which is then captured. Pieces are generally moved into positions where they can capture other pieces (by landing on their square and then replacing them), defend their own pieces in case of capture, or control important squares in the game. The king is the most important piece, but is one of the weakest. The king can only move one square in any direction - up, down, to the sides, and diagonally. The king may never move himself into check (where he could be captured). The queen is the most powerful piece. She can move in any one straight direction - forward, backward, sideways, or diagonally - as far as possible as long as she does not move through any of her own pieces. And, like with all pieces, if the queen captures an opponent's piece her move is over. The rook may move as far as it wants, but only forward, backward, and to the sides. The rooks are particularly" - Izaya paused, as he felt a weight on his shoulder, and saw me, fast asleep, leaning onto him, my head on his shoulder. He sighed.

"Looks like this is pretty boring for you, eh?" - he asked my sleeping form. Then, contemplating something, he scooped me up from my position, laid me on the bed, covering me with the covers, and left after securely locking the door with his keys.

September 7th

"Izayaaaaaaaaaaa!" - I yelled through the street, running to catch up with him. The raven- haired demon stopped, and turned, looking for me, then as he saw me running towards him, he cracked another Cheshire grin.

"Vi- chan! Didn't think you'd be up and out this early!" - he said, as I stopped beside him and panted to catch my breath. "So what brings you out so early in the morning?"

"I needed to get some stuff done with my contacts."

"Ah."

"And, w- well I- I wanted to apologize about f- falling asleep on y- you." - I stammered, fringe hiding face from view as I bowed. He waved me up, and then tilted my chin up so he could look into my eyes.

"Vi- chan, you're BLUSHING!" - he exclaimed triumphantly, as I retracted my chin from his fingers.

"So what?" - I huffed at him.

"Why, that means you care about me, Vi- chan!" - he said with a smile.

"Say that one more time, and I'll stop caring." - I muttered crossly.

"So, Vi- chan, care to join me since you're up and out?" - he asked, skipping, as I weaved through the crowd behind him.

"Sure. By the way, Izaya?"

"M?"

"I'll be leaving soon, but I'm transferring" - I crashed into his back as he stopped skipping, and turned to me.

"Y-You're leaving?" - he asked, fake crying.

"Yeah, I suppose so..."

"OH NO! The cruel gods will take away my only interesting companion and entertainment!" - he wailed, sinking to his knees and dramatically lifting a hand to the sky, turning his face to the ground. "The light burns me!" - by now people were staring.

"Izaya, get up!" - I said, tugging on his sleeve, but he continued fake bawling. Then my shadow senses tingled. I looked around for the disturbance and saw Shizuo walking with a guy with a weird hairstyle. Was that Tom, the guy who's bodyguard he was working as? Shizuo froze upon hearing (and seeing) his archenemy on the pavement with his back available for attack. I watched as Tom futilely tried to stop him, and (obviously) failed.

"IIIII- Z- AAAAAAAAAAAAA- YYYYYYYY- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - Shizuo bellowed, and Izaya awoke from his completely fake stupor. Just as Shizuo was about to lift a huge trashcan and throw it at Izaya, the devil grabbed my hand, and, spinning me around to face him, put a knife to my throat. Great. Well at least he didn't kiss me... Shizuo paused with a huge effort, and lowered the trashcan.

"You FILTH." - he spat. "Using a girl as a hostage? You'd sink no lower, Izaya."

"Shizu- chan!" - he paused as I tried my best to look scared. "I'm not in Ikebukuro, I'm just walking around, minding my own business, when you decide to hurl a trashcan at me when I'm not even looking. How is that not low?" - he asked, pressing the knife closer to my skin.

"Damn you, Izaya. Let the girl go, and I'll walk away."

"Hmmmmmmmmm, fine by me. But first walk a few steps back."

"Fine." - growled Shizuo, and retraced his steps to where Tom was standing.

Then Izaya whispered to me:

"When I let you go, fall, stumble, and run like hell from me to anywhere you see fit. I'll come find you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna make Shizu- chan mad for a bit."

I sighed, whispering back a yes.

"This far enough, Izaya?"

"Perfect, Shizu- chan!"

"Now let the girl go."

Izaya lifted the knife, pushing me away as I theatrically stumbled, fell, and then scampered off in a random direction. Well, not really random. I had seen a cafe ad while Izaya was fake bawling. The cafe was not far from here, at Shibuya, and it was advertised to have the best gateaux in Tokyo. So I would try them and see if the ad was true. As I ran, I heard Izaya's laughter and Shizuo's bellows. I giggled slightly- it was funny how easily Shizuo could be pissed off. An hour later I was up to my nose in chocolate cake, when a merry- looking Izaya skipped past the cafe, not seeing it.

"OI, IZAYA!" - I yelled, waving my fork around with the piece of cake still on it. The devil turned, hearing my yell, saw me and seated himself beside me with a flourish a second later.

"Hello, Vi- chan!"

"So how was your playtime?"

"Quite fun, quite fun! By the way, do you know you've got chocolate on your nose?"

"EH?" - I frantically searched for a napkin, when Izaya leaned in and licked the chocolate off my nose. Let me emphasize that. A GUY I'VE KNOWN FOR ONLY A WEEK OR SO LICKED CHOCOLATE OFF MY NOSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT! He leaned away, a satisfied expression on his grinning face as I desperately hid my burning face behind a newly- found napkin. He was gonna PAY for that!

"Oh, you were saying something about transferring?"

"RIGHT! Well I was saying that even though I'm leaving, I'll be coming back to visit from time to time. Also, I've told my boys"-

"Your boys?"

"Yes, my contacts. They're all boys for some reason. Probably because I haven't met a reliable girl yet. In any case, I've told them they're working for you now."

"And they took it positively?"

"Well, there WERE some complaints, but I negated them quite quickly."

"My, I didn't know Vi- chan could fight?"

"I never said I beat the shit out of them."

"Oh. Vi- chan, you're cruel. How can you blackmail such nice people?"

"I just warned them. I didn't blackmail them. They like me, so they heeded the warning. Now, try this cake and tell me if you like it!"

An hour of walking later

"Gah, I'm stuffed!"

"You shouldn't have eaten so much then."

"You're one to talk! You ate twice as much as I did!"

He shrugged

"So you're on friendly terms with them?"

"With whom?"

"Your contacts."

"Oh, yeah, we're sort of friends I suppose. *I looked at him sternly* Take good care of the idiots for me, kay?"

"Sure. Vi- chan?"

"Yeah?"

"You are so CUTE when you blush!"

I growled, and my growl was cut short by seeing the perfect way to repay him for licking the chocolate off my nose. He was skipping backwards, facing me, and to his left there was a HUGE fountain. The water was glimmering in shades of gold and rose, the setting sun highlighting the marble a soft peach color. As we neared it, I leaned in to Izaya, catching him by surprise by snuggling into his chest. Then, as he went a few steps backwards, I pushed him with all my annoyance into the fountain. He stumbled, trying to regain his balance, and then I pulled a shadow line behind his feet. With a tremendous splash, he fell into the fountain. He emerged a moment later, sopping wet, and spit out water from his mouth. I blanched, and began laughing, unable to stop. However, I was forced to stop as I was dragged and dumped into the fountain by Izaya.

"IZAYA! HOW DARE YOU!" - I squealed in mock outrage, splashing him with water but keeping my balance.

"You started it!" - he retorted, and I stuck my tongue out at him mockingly. Izaya lunged at me, and I leapt aside with a squeal, as he lost his footing on the slippery marble and slurped from view into the water. I was still madly giggling (my shadows were all over the marble, making it even more slippery) when Izaya burst from underneath the water behind me, grabbed me by my waist and threw me into the water, bag and all. I gasped as the cold water enveloped me (a mistake), and jumped up for air, having swallowed and almost choked on a litre of the fountain water. I bent over, coughing slightly as Izaya came over and patted my back. He glanced to the left, beginning to get out of the fountain. I followed his glance and saw two very fat, probably new policemen coming over to exert their authority on us. Without further ado, as I scrambled out of the fountain after Izaya, he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, running to hell knows there. I giggled as I noticed the expressions of the two policemen when they saw us getting away and started running after us. Then I heard laughter from ahead of me, and Izaya had turned his head to look at the comic scene, laughing himself. After a bit more of running, laughing and me guffawing with delight, we stopped to catch our breath. Panting, we slowly calmed down, and then as we looked at each other, we burst into laughter again. By the time we had finally calmed down, the sun had set and I was shivering slightly, having put on nothing but a white T- shirt and jeans. Then I remembered I hadn't put a bra on, and my boobs were probably my surprise, Izaya took his coat off and draped it around me. It was also wet, but it was also warm.

"H- How can y- you k- keep s- so warm- m i- in this cold w-wind whil- le wet?" - I stuttered,warming up, and he smiled.

"Come on, my apartement is right behind the corner, lets get there and have a cup of cocoa." - without waiting for my answer, he slung his arm around my waist and pulled me along with him. I ended up sleeping over at his place, in his bed while he occupied the sofa with the computer.

September 10th

"IZAYA!" - I waved at the information broker talking to one of his shady contacts, and skipped over to him.

"Vi- chan! You're early."

"I simply couldn't wait to see you, Izayaaaaa." - I whined. "Besides, you promised to come with me to Shiki today!"

"Give me a moment, Violet. I'll talk to you later then, Keichi." - he said, addressing the informant.

Of course. Please excuse me." - the informant bowed and walked off.

"I- za- ya! Come on, come on, we'll miss the train!" - I jogged impatiently as I dragged him along with me. We boarded the express at the last minute, and Izaya's fur- lined coat almost got caught in the closing doors. With a sigh of relief, I plopped down onto the seat, opening a lollipop. Izaya sat opposite me. I stared at the lollipop, then at Izaya. Then at the lollipop again. "Izaya, say AH." - he looked at me strangely, then complied.

"A" - he got cut off by me shoving the multicolored lollipop into his mouth.

"Suck on it." - I said, and then colored, realizing it must've sounded really REALLY wrong. Thankfully, Izaya didn't seem to notice, he was busy poring over the taste of something he'd never tasted before.

"Vi- chan, how do you manage to find things I've never tasted before?"

"EH? You mean you've never tasted the stuff I gave you before?" - I looked at him in disbelief.

"Exactly."

"ALRIGHTY! FIRST STOP IN SHIKI IS THE BAKERY! You're trying EVERYTHING I tell you to, got it?" - I pointed a finger at him, and he sweatdropped.

"Sure, Vi- chan, sure."

2 hours later

"Come ON, CHEW!" - I told the blissful- looking Izaya, popping another sweet into his mouth.

"I am chewing. I'm just chewing slowly so I can enjoy the taste, Vi- chan." - he explained patiently as I pouted, then gathered the stuff he liked and brought it to the counter.

"Hello, Oba- chan!"

"Hello, Violet dear. Nice to see you again!"

"Yeah, it feels like I haven't been here in like forever!"

"So is he your boyfriend?" - the old woman asked, pointing at a still blissful- looking Izaya.

"EHHHHHHH? Of course not!"

"Then you like him?"

"EH? No, we're just accomplices." - I said, aware that Izaya was listening. Wait! I didn't even like him? Why didn't I say that? Grrrrrrr.

"I see..." - said the old woman, smiling in a secret way. Bleh. They all think they know something.

"Thanks, Oba- chan!"

"Come again, Violet dear!"

"OI, Izaya, get out or I'm leaving without you!"

"Comingggg, Vi- chan!"

"It's VIOLET! Get that into your head!"

"Hai, hai, Violet- sama!"

"Just Violet, you baka."

I led him to one of my favorite spots- a quiet meadow with a huge oak in the centre, and set down the picnic basket I'd been carrying. After Izaya had started digging in to the various dishes I had set down onto the spreaded cloth, I drifted into thought. What if? What if me and Izaya were to get together? No, that's impossible! It's as impossible as Shizuo coming up to Izaya and calmly talking with him! But what if it actually happened? I groaned. Stop being an idiot, Violet! I criticized myself. He loves all humans, he can't possibly harbor a feeling like that for only one of them. He's tricky, cunning, crafty, selfish, and I'll bet he'd never even understand what love is like! But a small voice in my head was saying ~but you aren't human, you can have a chance~

September 21st

"The last week sure was fun!" - I said, beaming at Izaya.

"You enjoyed the show?"

"How can I not enjoy Shizuo running around after you and yelling your name like some love- struck idiot?"

"Ahahahahahah. Most people would be afraid of seeing that, Vi- chan~"

"Well I'm not most people, remember?"

"Checkmate. And yes, I do."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, how could I lose so easily?" - I whined in frustration.

"You're doing very well, Vi- chan. Better than many, in fact. You just need to practice more."

"With you you mean?"

"Why not? At least it's more useful than dragging me to different places..."

"And don't tell me you don't enjoy the trips, Izaya- Baka."

"True, true. Why do you do that, anyway?"

"Because... W- Well, I think we are friends..." - I trailed off, closing my eyes and expecting the unbelieving laugh. Instead I was startled by a hand petting my head.

"Why yes, I believe by now we have earned the title 'friends'." - he said quietly, grinning at my shocked face.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" - I squealed, hugging Izaya in a moment of pure happiness.

September 24th

I sat in the window seat in the plane, upset Izaya hadn't come to say goodbye. As the passengers piled into the plane, my phone rang.

"IZAYA!" - I hissed. "Why're you calling me now?"

"Look outside, Vi- chan~" - he sang, hung up, and I fumed. Then I turned to look out of the window and saw Izaya and my informants standing on a HUGE double- deckered bus, painted black, with an expertly drawn portrait of Shizuo in tights, a swimming costume and bunny ears painted on the machine. I stared, and a fit of laughter overcame me. I giggled till there were tears in my eyes, and they waved as the plane took off. Ignoring the notice "phones off", I texted Izaya.

Violet: I'll come back soon enough, Izaya ^_^

Izaya: Of course you will, you simply can't resist the amazing me ;)

Violet: Oh shut up, flea :P

Izaya: I knew you secretly loved me like Shizu- chan, Vi- Vi! After all, I AM irresistible...

Violet: Take care of my informants, Baka.

Izaya: Hai, hai!

Violet: And be careful yourself.

Izaya: You too 3

I closed the phone. Baka... I wonder if he even cares about me? I swept the thought away. He does, I'm sure of it, despite his annoying attitude.

~Izaya~


	6. An Incident

An incident

The cold wind blows.  
I run with it, remembering memories.  
The glowing orbs light my beloved city up.  
I'm trying to run away, to escape, but from what?

"And that was the first year." - I concluded the next day after school, as Celty and Shinra gaped at me.  
"Izaya is NORMAL?" - asked a stupefied Shinra.  
"Well, obviously he's not normal for most people. And the few that think he is normal delude themselves by thinking they can change him." - I answered, tapping my chin in thought.  
"So you like Izaya, Violet?" - typed Celty, and I colored.  
"Obviously not! He's annoying, cunning, selfish, incapable of any constant feelings except amusement and and... And..."  
"You like him." - stated Shinra.  
"Waaaaaaah!" - I wailed, as Celty hugged me, patting my head. "It's just SO like me to fall in love with someone who won't EVER love ANYONE separately from the human race! Why am I such an idiot? And IZAYA of all people! Why couldn't it have been Mikado, even the movie star Kazuka, any normal person? Why wasn't it even Shizuo? At least Shizuo has normal feelings! The only thing not normal in him is his strength, but he'll learn to control that in time... No, it just HAD to be the jerkiest jerk in the history of the entire world!" - I yelled at the air, Celty comforting me as I sniffed.  
"Violet, you might have a chance." - said Shinra quietly  
"Eh?"  
"He claims he loves all humans. Well, you're not a human. You're a true Dulahan, so you just might have a chance. He already considers you the closest thing to a friend he is capable of, so just give him time and give it your all. He already treasures you more than he even knows himself."  
Me and Celty stared at him in wonder as he sheepishly rubbed his hair.  
"True words of rare wisdom from you." - I said, and Celty nodded in agreement. I stood up, stretching. "I need to go for a walk and think about stuff, ok?"  
"Sure. Take all the time you need." - Shinra waved at me as I exited, the cool air of October hitting me as I walked outside. I took the metro to Ikebukuro and aimlessly wandered around the district, thinking, thinking, thinking. I came across a park some hours later, and sat on the bench, looking up at the starry sky. A beautiful cold night, just the kind I like. I closed my eyes, drifting into my thoughts, and opened them only when I heard drunken laughter coming from somewhere to my left. Great. Drunkards. I'll hope against hope they don't notice me and walk by. I'm not in the mood for scaring people today.  
"Hey, sweeeetiee." - one of them slurred, coming up to me. "What're you doin all lone ere?" - he looked down at my skirt. "Nice legs."  
"None of your business." - I said, and made to walk away when he grabbed me.  
"Look, fellas, a feisty un!" - he said to more of his drunken friends who had come along. All in total, there were 5. Nothing I couldn't scare off with my shadows. I was just about to do so, when one of the less drunk ones came up to me and hit a pressure point on my neck. Stars danced in my eyes as I crumbled to the pavement, semi- unconscious, where he hit more pressure points and finally kicked me in the stomach so I coughed up blood. My senses were completely dulled, and I made no move to protest when one of the guys pulled me up and hiked up my skirt, running his fingers over my pale skin. I felt revolted, sick. But I couldn't do anything. I could barely move. Another guy came up front and ripped open my school jacket and blouse, groping my full ripe breasts. The first one, the one who was holding me up, had just slid a hand down my pants, when a voice boomed throughout the park.  
"What're you guys doing?" - asked Shizuo Heiwajima, slowly walking towards us. Then he noticed me and his eyes flashed behind his glasses.  
"Whadddo you care? Who're you anyway?"  
"Me? *he asked, slowly advancing and cracking his knuckles* Oh, I'm just Shizuo Heiwajima. *the guys paled* But I'm not sure who or even WHAT you're gonna be when I'm DONE with you!" - he growled and lunged at them, as they dropped me and scattered off in random directions, kicking each other in their hurry to get away from Shizuo. He ran up to me, gently lifting me from the ground with one hand, and getting out a cell from his pocket with the other.  
"Hey, Shinra? I've an emergency here. No, I didn't kill Izaya. I've just saved a girl from a gang of guys. She looks pretty beat. I don't know if they raped her or not. I'm at the Central Park in Ikebukuro." - he hung up, and my mind slowly realized he had just called Shinra.  
"N- No.." - I whimpered, trying to push him away from me, as he caught my frail hands.  
"Shh, it's fine, those guys won't hurt you anymore."  
"P- Please, don't tell Shin.. Ra... To come..."  
"Huh? *his eyebrows furrowed* You need a doctor. Shinra is the only one I know."  
"No, please... You don't understand... There's a... Hospital... Right by the corner..." - I croaked out, trying to hold onto my consciousness, as he made a decision and started running to it with me in his arms. "D- Don't let Shinra... See me... Please..." - I whispered to him, and he grunted a yes in reply. Then I blacked out.  
I came to in the hospital, wrapped in bandages but healing fast thanks to my Dulahan genes. I sat up, and noticed the IV sticking out of my arm. Calm down Violet, calm down. It's just a needle. Just a NEEDLE! EEEEK! I carefully but quickly took out the needle from my skin and sat up, swinging my legs off the bed. I stood up and almost fell, as one pressure point reverberated pain through my chest. Then I carefully opened the door and bolted down the staircase to the rear exit, almost crashing into Izaya (of all people) who had just exited a patient's room. He caught me.  
"Violet? *he looked me up and down* What're you doing here?" - then he noticed a bruise blossoming on my collarbone and grew serious. "Tell me what happened, Violet. Who did this to you?"  
"Not now, Izaya! *I frantically glanced up and down the corridor* Get me out of here and I'll tell you, alright?" - I begged, and I saw the spark of understanding in his eyes. Woah, he actually remembered I have needlephobia and that I hate hospitals and anything connected to them! Then a doctor ran down the stairs, and a red siren started blaring.  
"You, hey you! Girl, return to your bed!" - he yelled to me. Without further ado, Izaya scooped me up and bolted towards the nearest back door. He bashed it open just as the locks on all the doors automatically shut. I laughed in relief, seeing the doctors locked inside their own hospital.  
"Oh crap." - Izaya muttered, looking back over his shoulder, and as I followed his gaze I realized what he meant. Shizuo had just neared the hospital, and seeing the doctors locked inside and Izaya running away with what only could be a patient, he assessed the situation as: Izaya kidnapped girl I saved. So he began chasing us. We had just turned a corner when someone grabbed both of us, quickly shoved us inside the back of a van and drove off. I groaned and slumped against Izaya, who was breathing quite heavily.  
"You alright, Izaya?" - I asked, still in his arms.  
"Yeah, just glad we escaped from Shizuo. That reminds me, what are you guys doing here? Erika, Kadota, Walker, Saburo?"  
"Well, we were out on a manga spree, when we saw you running away with a girl in your arms and Shizuo running after you. We decided you were in greater need of help than we were of manga, so we dragged you into the van and drove off!" - said the only girl in the group, whom I presumed was Erika.  
"Oh. Then could you guys drop us off at my place?"  
"Sure!" - chirped Erika. "So is this your girlfriend?" - she asked, peering at me  
"OF COURSE N"- a hand was slapped over my mouth by Izaya, preventing me from saying anything.  
"She's mine." - he said, devilishly grinning, and Erika's eyes turned to hearts.  
"Awwwwww, and I had hoped you were gay for Shizuo." - she said, slightly disappointed.  
"Wait, you like yaoi?" - I asked, eyes glittering in excitement.  
"I LOVE YAOI!" - she exclaimed.  
"REALLY? ME TOO! What's your favorite?"  
"Hmmmmmm, it's probably Junjou romantica."  
"OMG, PURE ROMANCE IS AMAZZZZZZING!" - I squealed, and Erika squealed along with me as the boys rolled their eyes.  
"I KNOOOOWWWWWW! Let's say our favorite quote from the manga at the same time?"  
"Sure!"  
="The pain... The pleasure... and the shame all drive me CRAZY!" = we dramatically moaned together.  
"WOW, OUR FAVOURITE QUOTE IS THE SAME!" - yelled Erika.  
"How can that NOT be a FAVOURITE quote?" - I asked, perplexed. "It's one of the best moments in the ENTIRE series!"  
"I'm SO glad I've finally found the yaoi fangirl friend of my dreams!"  
"Me too! Oh, what were you saying about Izaya and Shizu- chan?"  
"I just thought they were gay for each other- I mean look at how much they hate each other! It wouldn't be a surprise if it turns out they're fucking each other secretly..." - trailed off Erika, dreamy stars in her eyes as the boys tried not to listen.  
"Erm, Erika, I wouldn't go that far..." - I said, trying to change the direction of the conversation for the boys' sake.  
"Oh right, you're all Izaya's, aren't you? Say, have you guys had sex yet?"

"Erika, that's enough." - said the driver sternly, as I burned with embarrassment and mentally thanked the guy.

"Thank you, Saburo- chan. I don't quite like talking about my private life with people." - said Izaya, thanking the guy aloud.  
"Sorry, did I embarrass you?" - asked Erika, looking guilty, and I nodded. "What's your name by the way?"  
"Oh, I'm Violet."  
"Nice to meet you, Violet, I'm Saburo. The guy sitting next to me is Kadota, and the always- smiling guy with the closed eyes is Walker."  
"Pleased to meet all of you. OMG, Walker- san, you look like Gin Ichimaru from bleach!"  
"AHA! Walker, you owe me a Sensitive Pornograph disk this time!" - said Erika, a triumphant fist in the air.  
"Oh nooooo, I don't want to go asking for that gay anime!" - protested Walker  
"Guys, we're here." - intervened Kadota.  
"Thanks for saving us and dropping us off." - said Izaya, getting out and helping me out.  
"No problem! Bye, Violet- kun, hope to see you soon!" - yelled Erika, sticking her head out of the window as the van drove off.  
"Bye, guys." - I waved until they left from view, then stopped the battle with my consciousness which I had been waging throughout the whole ride. I walked a few steps, then swayed and fell, thankfully caught by Izaya before I hurt myself.  
I blinked, opening my eyes in darkness, forgetting where I was for a moment. Then the memories came flooding back. I staggered out of the bed, frantic to hold on to anyone, just not be alone. Then a familiar shape emerged from the darkness.  
"Violet, you're awake. Let's have tea, shall we? I've also brought you your favorite - Violet?"  
"Iza..ya..." - I croaked out, blindly reaching for him. In a moment, he was in front of me and I was clinging onto his shirt and trembling.  
"I'm here, I'm here. Tell me what happened, it'll make you feel better." - he said, as he picked me up and went downstairs, where the lights of the big city glowed through the thick glass windows, illuminating his office in soft tones. He sat down on the sofa with me still in his arms, and I told him.  
"Violet, have you cried yet?" - he asked, looking worried. Or maybe it was a trick of the light. I reminded myself he wouldn't ever care for me.  
"N- Yes..." - I whispered, and he hugged me, seemingly desperate for a reaction. When that didn't work, he tilted my chin up in a familiar fashion to gaze into my eyes.  
"Violet." - he said gently. "You liar. You have to let it all out."  
"I'm fine, Izaya, honestly. I did cry, I'm just still a little bit shocked after all of this." - I lied perfectly, my face setting down into that smooth mask I had developed in 35 years. "I'm just tired.."  
"Alright then, I won't keep you up. I'll drive you to your apartment?"  
"That would be perfect, thanks. "  
~Izaya~


	7. To clear Guest review confusion up

In response to the review

Confused Anon:In Chapter 2, I don't understand why the protagonist is allowed to wear a different uniform simply because of her grade. What makes her so special that the school exempts her from wearing the normal uniform? Because you don't want her to wear it?

I also don't understand why you use asterisks and hyphens to designate actions. Please use proper, contemporary formatting and grammar for the narrative.

Onto the protagonist…I am having a difficult time comprehending how someone can have the outward appearance of a human, but then be a Dullahan on the inside. That means the protagonist has no heart, doesn't need to eat, etc…How could she have been born from a Dullahan mother and a human father? You need to work harder on suspending disbelief. In addition, you should probably go back and edit your spelling. You've been spelling "Dullahan" with only one "L."

Reply: Just so you know, Izaya was also wearing a black uniform in both the anime and manga when there were flashbacks of him when he used to attend school with Shinra. I'm not claiming anything except for my OC as my own. And she's not special. If Izaya didn't wear the uniform, why should she wear it if she doesn't want to?

Onto the next point, the protagonist. Has no heart? Doesn't need to eat? Did you even watch the anime or read the manga when Shinra cut Celty open? She had all the organs inside her. They simply don't function. She also eats with Shinra several times even though she has no need for the food. She doesn't feel the taste because her head is missing. Hence she can eat and she probably can taste stuff if her head is returned.

How could Violet have been born from a Dulahan mother and human father? Look, I know biology pretty well to be able to say that beings from different races cannot have offspring together. In our world. However, this is fiction, anime, not real life. And for god's sake, I watched an anime where a RABBIT had offspring with a HUMAN. This is all fictional so I have the right to write whatever weird stuff my brain cooks up.

Also, in some of the wikias I have been to, Dulahan is spelt with ONE L. In others, with two L's. So it all depends on the person who's writing the story. It's like taking the word "colors" and saying it's spelt "colours". It can be spelt either way.

Here's an extract from monster wikia, NOT edited by me in ANY way:

The **Headless Horseman** is a fictional spirit that haunted the town of Sleepy Hollow and cuts off others heads like they did to him. He is known to be unable to cross running water, which is the only thing that stops him from catching Ichabod Crane when the two meet.

In certain cases the Headless Horseman is considered by some to be a Dulahan. Dulahans are a type of Irish Fae. They usually appear as beautiful women wearing armor and carrying their heads. They ride across the land on an undead horse and are sometimes seen as a sign of an approaching death. If someone sees a Dulahan they are typically drenched in a bucket of blood.

In mythology there is no reference that Dulahans can't cross running water, unlike the Headless Horseman, which is a debating point on the subject. No one knows why that Horseman is unable to cross water if he is in fact a Dulahan. There is also speculation as to why the horseman does not carry his head if he is indeed a Dulahan. Many do argue the point that his head was stolen from him, and that would cause him to hunt out other heads as commonly seen in the story.

As for the punctuation for the dialogue and narrative, I'm still learning how to write that, so in time I will improve. Thanks for that tip.

So, I appreciate the feedback and criticism. But please, PLEASE, read up on the stuff you're criticizing yourself, to make sure you're posting everything correctly according to the criticism. I want people to criticize me, but only where I went wrong. Or where I went too Mary- Sue for example.

As for everyone else, thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, they have boosted my desire to write! I'm open to your suggestions too :3


	8. Secrets and Shizuo

I try to hide them all,

All the secrets, pain and hurt.

I lock them deep inside my chest.  
But how many more can I take till I burst?

I keep many secrets. Many dark ones as well. As far as I can remember, ever since the first dark and painful secret, I've never truly cried. And ever since that first dark secret, I began developing my mask to hide those secrets and feelings when need be. I simply locked them all deep inside me, never letting them surface, or I'd probably be a wreck. No, I liked the real cheerful me. I thought it better to keep the secrets hidden, never to resurface again. But that was back then.

I woke up safely back in my king- size bed, and decided to go meet Shizuo today to thank him for saving my ass. The first thing I did was get out of bed and read the note on the package Izaya had left beside it.

Dear Vi- chan!  
I've noticed that it's much too cold to be wearing the clothes you usually wear, so I include this outfit tailored specifically to suit you. It is warm, stylish and comfortable.  
P.S- be careful in wearing it.

I unpacked the package and dressed in the outfit (story cover). Critically observing myself in the mirror, I decided it was perfect. So I set out to find Shizuo.

An hour and half later  
I groaned, walking around Ikebukuro. Why was it that when you needed Shizuo, he was never around, but when you didn't need him, he seemed to pop out from any corner. Then I got a perfect idea. I cupped my hands to my mouth, and, imitating Izaya's voice almost perfectly (except it being a tone or two higher)  
"SHIZU- CHAAAAAAAAAN!" - I yelled, and voila, the maddened human came running towards me.  
"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - he bellowed, and threw a VENDING MACHINE at ME. I yelped in pain, narrowly avoiding it, as I stretched a particularly painful bruise. Now I was pissed as well.  
"OI, you FUCKING IDIOT! Do you even LOOK at WHOM you're throwing BLOODY VENDING MACHINES?"  
"Huh?" - he stopped dead in his tracks, finally noticing  
A) My coat fur was blue  
B) I was wearing tights  
C) I was wearing a skirt  
D) I wasn't Izaya  
E) I was a girl  
F) I was the girl he saved yesterday  
I rolled my eyes, seeing he finally realized I wasn't Izaya.  
"I'm glad you've noticed I'm not Izaya BEFORE you almost killed me." - I said sarcastically, and he looked slightly ashamed.  
"Why're you wearing the flea's coat? And why did you imitate him when you called me?"  
"I'm not wearing HIS coat. He ordered the outfit I'm currently wearing specifically for me. And the reason why I imitated Izaya is because I spent over an hour touring Ikebukuro, asking people where you were and getting nowhere."  
"Oh. Wait, why did you want to find me?"  
"To thank you for saving me yesterday, of course."  
"Oh. Wait, you shouldn't even be out after yesterday! You should be back in the hospital!" - he said, catching my arm and probably leading me to the hospital. "That flea bastard! He kidnapped you from the hospital, didn't he?" - then he stopped, struck by an idea. "Y- You're not his... Girlfriend, are you?" - he choked out, turning to face me, as I blushed.  
"Of course not. Of course... not... He isn't capable... of those sorts of feelings for one human. He can only harbor them for all humankind, it seems." - I answered quietly, head hung down. Shizuo shook me by my shoulders.  
"Hey, don't be an idiot." - he said. "You wanted to thank me, right? Well then thank me properly."  
Right. Seems I'm easily saddened lately. I locked those feelings deep inside me again, becoming the cheerful self I really am. Then I grabbed Shizuo's hand and pulled him along with me, ignoring the bewildered looks he and passers- by were giving me.  
"You free now?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Free to come to Shibuya with me?" - I asked him, pausing slightly to wait for his reply. He stiffened.  
"This better not be a trap or setup by the flea." - he mumbled under his breath.  
"Oi, Shizuo Heiwajima, answer me!" - I demanded, hands on hips and facing him.  
"Yeah, yeah, free to come to Shibuya."

"Goodie!" - I beamed at him, continuing to drag him after me.

10- 15 min later  
"Alrighty, we're here!" - I said triumphantly, ushering Shizuo into the french gateaux cafe and seating him at an angled cozy table with one long 90 degree sofa seat hidden from view behind tropical plants and a row of coat hangers.  
"And... Why are we here?" - he asked, perplexed.  
"To EAT, of course! This cafe has the BEST cakes in TOKYO!"  
"Yeah, I believe you on that. But why?"  
"Baka" - I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "To thank you for saving me, of course!"  
"I would've been fine with a verbal apology, you know?"  
"I do not caaaaare! You're spending the evening with me and we're having fuuuuuuun!" - I sang, simultaneously passing him the menu. He sat there for a bit, staring at the menu as I giggled. It was all in French.  
"What's so funny?" - he snapped, as I burst into a giggle fit. I set my menu down, scooting over to him and leaning onto him while pointing to different tasty things in the menu as he watched me.  
"So this one is the Grand Gateaux. Personally, I adore it, it's THREE whole different layers of mixed chocolate, and it has whipped cream and a cherry on top! I would recommend starting with that since you're new- you're bound to like it -are you even listening to me?" - I huffed angrily.  
"You... Aren't afraid of me?" - he asked quietly, as I stared at him. Don't tell me he counts himself a monster because people call him that...  
"Come here." - I said, patting the angled sofa seat beside me. He hesitated, and I sighed, coming over to sit beside him. I carefully lifted my hands to his face, and he flinched. "Hey, don't flinch on me. I'm a beautiful girl, right? _**Right**_?"  
"Yes.."  
"Good. Then look at this beautiful girl and listen to what she has to say." - I said, taking off his glasses, setting them on the table and finally seeing his eyes for the first time up close. "Okay, Shizuo, you listening to me?"  
"Yes."  
"Good, just checking. Alright. Tell me Shizuo, are you an idiot?"  
"Eh? Of course not!"  
"Okay, then why do you believe people when they say you're a monster?" - his eyes widened.  
"How do you know about that?"  
"I would be an idiot if I didn't." - I rolled my eyes. "In any case, just because you have inhuman strength, that doesn't make you a monster. Just because other people call you a monster, that doesn't mean you are like that. They don't treat you like a fellow human being, so what? They're the ones not being human for that. They ignore you, hate you, insult you... You know why? Because they're afraid of you. They're afraid of your strength. Tell me, Shizuo, where are YOU a monster in this? You try to help them if they need help, you're kind and protective and gentle and caring but you hide it all so THEY don't hurt YOU. Tell me, Shizuo, why on earth do you think of yourself that way?" - I asked, gazing expectantly into his molten chocolate eyes.  
"Heh. You speak as if you've known me all my life. I'll answer you, girl."  
"Violet." - I said firmly. "My name is Violet."  
"Violet. I think of myself that way because I can't control my power. Whenever I get angry, I just snap. I can't control my actions, or what I'm doing. I could even hurt those I care about and I wouldn't be able to stop myself." - he said, hiding his face in his hands. I gently pried them from his face and held them. I noticed my hands were so small, compared to his.  
"Shizuo. You're an idiot, you know? If that's the reason you count yourself a monster, you're truly an idiot. With great power comes great responsibility, I understand that. But like with all great power, you learn to control it in time. TIME, Shizuo, that's all you need. You're being too hard on yourself. Just work on it a bit more, run after Izaya and hurl trashcans and vending machines at him all you like, because in that way you'll learn to control your power. You stopped back then all those years ago, when Izaya held a knife to my throat, didn't you? You'll be able to stop again. I'm sure of it." - I said confidently.  
"Wait, YOU were that girl Izaya used as a shield?"  
"Yeah. He had my consent though..." - I trailed off  
"So you're fine with him holding a knife to your throat?" - he asked, shocked.  
"That's how love is, Shizuo. It's irrational." - I smiled wryly. "Now shut up and eat." - I said, ducking under his arm and hugging him around the middle before he could say anything else. He stiffened, and then slowly, awkwardly, hugged me back. Then I withdrew from him, and, taking a spoonful of the newly- arrived Grand Gateaux, shoved it into his mouth. His eyes that were about to cry grew wide in wonder as he licked the spoon clean.  
"This is DELICIOUS!" - he exclaimed, and, giggling, I moved away from him to give him space to dig in, which he did.  
"I told you there's no way you wouldn't like it, it's even Izaya's favorite." - I said, and my grin faded. Shizuo noticed, moved his plate closer to mine, and started talking about random stuff. I gladly joined in, and ordered an Absinthe.

Several hours later  
"Reeeally? Kasuka, THE *hic* movie star Kasuka is YOUR broth *hic* er?" - I asked, surprised. P.S- Shizuo still didn't realize I was drunk.  
"Yes. You're probably also another fan."  
"You *hic* kidding?" - I looked at him incredulously. "He's such a CHEESY actor! *hic* It's like he never shows any *hic* emotions at all! He's *hic* worse than Iz *hic* aya!" - I stated, and grew slightly quieter. Shizuo noticed, moved himself closer to me, and used his fork to steal some of my Foret- Noire.  
"Mmmm, this is tasty!" - he said, licking the fork clean as I snatched my cake away from him.  
"Hey, *hic* you STOLE *hic* half of my cake! Gimme *hic* back!" - I yelled, pouting.  
"How? I've eaten it, there's no way you can get it back." - he said calmly, and I got a sly smile on my face.  
"Shizu *hic* - chan?"  
"Ye- H?" - he got cut off as I slung my arms round his neck and without further thought, kissed him. His lips parted in surprise and I eagerly thrust my tongue in, tasting the aftertaste of chocolate mixed with cigarettes. I decided that I liked the way Shizuo tasted, and issued a chirrup of protest when he separated me from him.  
"Shizuo..." - I looked at him with misted amethyst eyes and clumsily lunged at him again. "Shizu- chaaan, lemme *hic* kiss you!"  
"Violet, you're drunk. Calm down and let's go home."  
"Nya! *hic*" - I protested, jumping at him as he easily caught and slung me over his shoulder, leaving the money on the table and signalling the waiter. Then he just as calmly exited the cafe.  
"Where do you live, Violet?"  
"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *hic* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *hic* uuuuu"  
"Violet, come on."  
"I don't *hic* wanna go *hic* home!" - I yelled. "And...*hic*... Izaya might be *hic* there..." - I mumbled, and Shizuo sighed.  
"What do I do with you?"  
"Yo*hic*ur place!"  
"Oh, fine then, alright." - Shizuo gave in to me and headed off to his home. On the way I fell asleep, and I woke up somewhere in the middle of the night, still drunk and hot. My coat had already been taken off me, and so were my shoes. Oblivious to my surroundings, I took off my shirt, skirt and tights and sprawled on the bed in bliss. Somewhere around 5 o' clock in the morning, I woke up with a terrible hangover and trudged off to find Shizuo. I found him in the next room, sleeping soundly on the couch.  
"ShizuO!" - I said, poking his face. "Shizuooooo."  
"Mmmm, what?" - he mumbled, still half- asleep.  
"Painkillers."  
"Oh, they're in the black box in the kitchen."  
"Thanks."

An hour later, Shizuo awoke to the delicious smell of pancakes drifting in from the kitchen. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he entered and beheld an almost completely naked me setting plates on the table with a charming smile on my face.  
"Morning, Shizu- chan!"  
"V- VIOLET!"  
"What?" - I asked, bewildered.  
"G- Go dress yourself." - he said, turning away from me, as I looked at myself and realized in a dreamlike state that I was wearing only my white lacy bra and panties. Furiously blushing, I ran off to dress.  
"Start eating without me, food's on the table!" - I yelled from the hallway. Several awkward minutes later, I entered back into the kitchen.  
"Violet, you're an AMAZING cook!" - Shizuo said through mouthfuls of pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs and cupcakes, as I giggled.  
"Thanks, but you better find some new compliments, or you'll be repeating Izaya over and over." - I froze, realizing what I had said, but Shizuo tactfully "didn't notice".  
"So, Violet, where are you from?"  
"Oh, I'm from Shiki."  
"Shiki? I heard it was a quiet place."  
"Still is, I can take you there one day when you're free if you like."  
"Um, Violet, do you even remember what you did yesterday?"  
"Hmmmmmmm, I got dreadfully drunk, judging by the headache... Oh no, don't tell me I did something awful?"  
"Well I'm not sure what you would consider kissing me as -"  
"I KISSED you? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD!" - I repeated in frustration, pacing back and forth. Shizuo got the wrong idea and stormed out. I ran after him, barely catching him in the doorway. "Shizuo, wait, I didn't mean it that way!" - I tried to tell him sensibly.  
"Oh don't lie, just say you think me a monster like everyone else!"  
"I don't!"  
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" - he yelled, and his eyes filled with pain. Throwing caution and whatever I felt for Izaya away for the moment (understanding he needed me more than the broker for the moment), I threw my arms around Shizuo and kissed him. Startled, he stopped and slightly calmed down as I wove my fingers through his hair. In a moment, I was crushed to his chest, the door slammed shut and locked. Then he threw me roughly onto the bed and pinned me down, common sense vanished from his mind in the presence of lust and feelings kept pent up for so long. I squirmed as he claimed my mouth, teeth grazing my soft lips. He was holding both my hands with one of his, using his other hand to balance himself on the bed. My whimpers snapped him back to reality though. Realizing what he was doing, he immediately let go and sat on the very edge of the bed, head hung in hands in shame. My head was spinning, and by the time the world had stopped turning round its' axes and I sat up, I noticed Shizuo was crying. I scooted over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and laid my head on his shoulder.  
"Shhh, Shizuo." - I soothed him, rubbing his back.  
"I- I'm so sorry, Violet... So sorry..."  
"It's alright, Shizuo. It's all right."  
"I could've hurt you! I would've..."  
"But you didn't, right? Remember, I told you you'd be able to stop. And this time I'll be with you to help you. I'll stay by your side, Shizuo. Don't worry, I'll be there for you." - I hugged him tighter.  
"Violet. You really are something, you know?" - he said, turning round to face me and cupping my face in his huge hands. I gazed into his chocolate eyes, understanding I could give this my all, and it could easily turn into a relationship. I could probably be happy with him, and make him happy too. I decided to give it a try, after all I needed love more than anything else right now. I closed my eyes and parted my lips slightly, giving Shizuo the choice to either kiss me or back off. For a bit, nothing happened, and I felt slightly stupid. Then he brushed his thumb over my lower lip, wiping the dewdroplet of blood away from when he had grazed my skin. And then, softly, slowly, he claimed my lips with his, first gently sucking on my bottom lip, and then the upper one. He pulled away, looking into my eyes, and I smiled, nuzzling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.  
"Let's stay at your place today..." - I mumbled, and he kissed my forehead.  
"Sure."  
~Shizuo~


	9. Days of Shizuo

Fun times like this are great.  
You truly enjoy every single moment.  
It's just a pity these fun times don't last long.  
It's a pity they pass too quickly.  
==============================================================================

November 8th

"YOU WHAT?" I bellowed accusingly at Shizuo

"I ate the last piece of cake." he repeated just as calmly.

"S-H-I-Z-U-O!" I blared like a siren, then came over to him. "You owe me cake." I said, pouting.

"Fine by me." he said, then tilted up my chin and kissed me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and blessing me with the delicious taste of chocolate and cream.

"HnnnMmmmm..." I heard myself making mewing sounds, and Shizuo broke off, sliding his tongue out and licking his lips in satisfaction.

"Now do I owe you cake?"

"No, you owe me another kiss!" I flared and jumped him. He chuckled against my lips, firmly holding my legs locked around his waist so I didn't fall.

November 10th  
"Shizu- chaaaaaaan..." I purred, naked except for one his bartender shirts, wondering what his reaction would be.  
"Lemme sleep, Violet." he said, turning away from me. I huffed, then laid down on top of him, my firm breasts pressing into his back. He groaned, and moved slightly so I could lie down next to him. I snuggled into his chest, and he dragged his hand over my hip to hug me closer. Then he froze. He ran his hand back down my hip and lower to my thigh, and then back up. The realization hit him. No pants. His eyes grew wide, and he sat up, then scooting as far back to the wall as the bed would allow it.  
"Shizu- chaaaaaaaaaan!" I purred again, using his pose to my advantage and crawling closer to him on hands and knees, then lifting myself up so I could kiss him. As I predicted, the half- buttoned up shirt didn't live through the pressure my breasts were implying on it, and it ripped open, exposing the now completely naked me. I made a small 'oh' of surprise, as if I didn't expect it. Then the shirt got ripped off, and I immediately got roughly kissed by Shizuo who was no longer able to contain himself. He ran his hands down my waist and squeezed my ass as I pressed myself closer to him and moaned softly. Suddenly, he snapped out of it and stopped. Then, still furiously blushing, he draped the bedcovers around my naked body.  
"Go dress yourself, idiot." he said, grumbling.  
"Come on, Shizuo! You're the first guy EVER to resist me!" I said, and clamped my mouth shut, wrong memories resurfacing.  
"So you've had sex before? How old are you?"  
"None of your business."  
"Violet."  
"None of your business."

November 13th  
"Mu? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" I mooed, trying to untangle myself from the bedsheets. I was just about to give up when a helping hand simply tore the sheets in half, exposing me wearing a guy's boxers, a white T- shirt and rubbing my eyes. Then I was captured in a kiss. "Shizu- chaaaan." I looked at him reproachfully.  
"What?"  
"You tore the sheets." I said, eying him and then tackled him, knocking him off the bed and landing on top of him, straddling him. He flipped me over with a growl, placing butterfly kisses on my neck as I squealed, trying to get away from him. "Gerroff me, pervert!" I tried pushing him off as he chuckled.  
"Look who's talking. You're the one immensely enjoying this." he said, lightly grazing my neck with his teeth as I let out a mewl.  
"Okay, okay, I submit! White flag! Shi... Shizuoooooo!" I gasped and whined as he found my soft spot on my collarbone and started sucking on it.  
"Violet, how old are you?" he asked, stopping his immensely pleasing torture and leaving a hickey.  
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"  
"Violet, tell me."  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."  
"And why is that?" he asked, propping himself up on his hands to hang above me.  
"You just wouldn't."  
"Try me."  
"Nuh- ah. For one, you wouldn't believe me if I told you I wasn't human..." I trailed off.  
"Stop talking rubbish. You're the most humane person I've ever met." he said, nuzzling me.  
"Exactly. See, I told you you wouldn't believe me."  
"Alright, then prove it."  
I wiggled my way out from under him and sat up. Then I sank into my shadow and disappeared from view. I emerged giggling at Shizuo's perplexed look a few seconds later from the sofa's shadow.  
"I am part Dulahan, Shizu- chan!"  
"Like Celty?"  
"Yeah, I'm 35 by the way. But unlike Celty, my outward appearance is human, meaning I can't take my head off from my body without dying." I joked, and was suddenly enveloped in a bear hug. "Shi- Shizuo?"  
"You aren't a monster, you're beautiful, get it? Just remember that." he said as I stiffened. So he had realized I'd probably been called a monster for most of my life... Oh well, nothing I can do about that any longer.  
"Thanks, Shizuo..."  
"We're staying home today." he stated, picking me up and bouncing onto the couch with me. "And watching scary movies."  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'll get nightmares!" I squeaked, trying to get away from him, but he grabbed my hips and sat me in his lap.  
"You're not going anywhere."  
"You're mean, Shizu- chan." I pouted.

November 14th  
"SHIZU- CHAAAAAAAAN!" I yelled, racing after the blonde in a bartender suit. Tom, the one who had hired Shizuo as a bodyguard, stood staring in shock as I ran straight on at Shizuo, and jumped. He easily caught me, and Tom stared in even more shock as I claimed Shizuo's mouth.  
"Um, Shizuo." said Tom after I broke away from Shizuo with a popping sound. "Who is this?"  
"Oh, this is Violet."  
"Pleased to meet you, Tom- san!"  
"Pleased to meet you too, young lady. What exactly is your relationship with Shizuo?"  
"Hmmmmmmmm, we are in the process of becoming a couple I suppose..." I trailed off, glancing at Shizuo who nodded. "In any case, Shizu- chan and Tom- san are taking the day off today and we're going to the MOVIEZZZZZZ!"  
"Eh? Why?" asked Shizuo, who had obviously not known about this before I said it.  
"Why, your brother Kasuka is in the new movie, and after I met up with him, he told me to tell you to take me out to watch the new movie!"  
"Well then, what are we waiting for?" asked a smiling Tom.  
"YAAAAAAY, Tom- san, you're awesome! Come ON, Shizu- chaaaaan!" I sang, dragging him along with me.

I sighed fondly, sitting in Shizuo's lap in a cafe several hours later, with my arms wrapped around Shizuo's neck, and head nuzzling his chest, where Shizuo was pleasantly stroking my hair.

"You aren't going to stay here all day, are you?" Tom teased.

"Why, yes, as a matter of fact, we are. Do you know how many perverts there are out there?" Shizuo retorted to Tom, looking at my ripped skirt

"Yeah, loads." Tom shrugged.

"That's why for now we're staying here."

"Hmmmm..." I sighed softly yet loudly, warm in my contentment.

November 15th  
A fit of laughter overcame me as I watched Shizuo and Tom try to skate. The first sped up to reach me, and then crashed onto the ice noisily seconds later. The latter was cleverer, and managed to hobble a few steps, holding onto the rail, before his legs slid out from underneath him and he clumsily fell. I elegantly skated towards them, doing a few 360C turns and jumps along the way, as they gaped at me.  
"H- HOW can you move like that?" asked Shizuo in disbelief, and I got a perverted idea.  
"Oh, but Shizu- chan, I can move even better.." I said, helping him up and rubbing my hips against his. "Shizu- chan, let's find a cozy place and I'll show you.." trailing off, I purred seductively, and Tom and most of the guys who were watching us fainted with a nosebleed. Then Shizuo, completely unfazed, grabbed me (skates already taken off and shoes put on), slinging me over his shoulder, and headed off somewhere. "Oi, Shizuoooo! Where are you taking me?"  
"Somewhere cozy so you can show me how you 'move'." he said.  
"Eh? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I was kidding, someone SAVE ME!" I yelled in mock fear.  
"Shut up, Baka, I was kidding."  
"I know, I just like messing around with you." I said, slapping his ass. As he froze in shock, I jumped off him and started running away. Shortly afterwards, he snapped back to reality and ran off after me. Finally catching me on a street, he glomped me, and we swayed, off balance, and toppled right into the snow.  
"You're cute when you blush." said Shizuo, poking my nose.  
"Oh really?" I used my shadows to form a snowball, then flinging it at the back of his head. He looked around, bewildered, then realized I was laughing.  
"Violet! It's not fair to use your Dulahan powers!" he protested, and, getting no reaction from me, resigned himself to sitting in the snow like a stone. Several minutes later, after I had stopped laughing, I tried to pry him up from the snow futilely. Half an hour later I was cold.  
"S- Shiz- zuo, I'm f-f-f-freez-z-zing!" I said, rubbing my arms while trying to get warm, my teeth chattering. "Shizuo, I'm s-s-sor-r-ry!" I stammered out, and he finally turned to me, and seeing just how cold I was, he opened his coat and ignoring my protests picked me up bridal style making sure I was half- covered in the coat. It was calming, comforting, as he walked to his place, the snow swirling around, the city lights blazing. I was warm, and I felt safe with him. I could almost say I was happy... I snuggled into his chest and he chuckled.  
"Next time be fair, Violet."  
"Muuuuuuu, Baka!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

November 16th  
"No, no, please don't, why me, why me?" I moaned, thrashing and tangling myself up in the bedsheets while having another nightmare. Shizuo ran to me, picking me up as easily as if I were a doll, and hugged me firmly as I trembled.  
"Shhh, Violet. It's fine, it's just a nightmare." he soothed me, stroking my hair.  
"Stay with me tonight, Shizuo, please!" I begged him, and he sighed, lying down and pulling me to himself.

November 17th  
"Violet, you have to tell me what you're hiding someday. If you do, it'll make you feel better." he said, pouring me a cup of coffee.  
"Hmph. No way."  
"Why?"  
"You won't like it."  
"But it'll make you feel better."  
"It'll make you worry."  
"I already worry."  
"Fine, I'll tell you if you dress up in a pink bunny costume with Izaya and walk around Ikebukuro loudly proclaiming your love to each other."  
"NEVER!"  
"Awwwwwwww, and I was hoping..."

November 18th  
"Shizuo, I have to go today."  
"The flea calls?"  
"Well no, but I've got to check on the idiot in any case."  
"Fine. Just be careful."  
"Alrighty! I'm off to school, see you tonight!" I beamed at him and he pecked me a goodbye.


	10. A Mistake

"Violet- chaaaaaaan!" yelled Masaomi as he saw me exiting the school. "Violet- chan, wait up!"  
"Oh, hello, Kida." I said, pausing to wait for him as he ran up to me with Mikado and Anri.  
"Violet- chan, why don't you hang out with us anymore? We all miss you!"  
"Oh, sorry, I've been a bit busy lately."  
"Busy?" asked Mikado, surprised.  
"Yeah, VERY busy." I answered, sheepishly rubbing my head. Then I heard the voice I'd so dreaded yet so wanted to hear.  
"Vi- chan!" sang Izaya, skipping over to me with an ever- present Cheshire grin.  
"Hello, Izaya."  
"I heard you hooked up with Shizu- chan some weeks ago! Is that really true?" he enquired, still smiling. "Don't forget, Vi- chan, you belong to me..."  
"Well, we'll be going now." said Mikado, pulling away Anri and Masaomi before they had a chance to say anything. Leaving me alone with Izaya.  
"I would appreciate it if you didn't disclose my personal life to everyone, Izaya."  
"So it IS true! And I was hoping those were just false circulating rumors..." he said, his back to me.  
"They aren't."  
"Do you love him, Vi- Vi?" he asked, swirling round to face me. "Tell me, do you love him truly and from the bottom of your heart? Tell me and if you do, I'll leave him alone, never to bother him again. Tell me, Violet." he said, forcing my chin up to gaze into my eyes like he always did.  
"I- I do..."  
"Liar." he coldly said, and startled, I looked at him. "You don't really love him, do you? You care for him and pity him, but that's about it. Tell me the truth, Vi- chan. Is it that when you thread your fingers through his hair, you wish for it to be raven black instead of colored blond? Is it that when he brushes his warm fingers over your equally warm skin, you wish for those fingers instead to be pale and cold, rousing goosebumps over your body? Is it that when he tilts your chin up to kiss you, and you gaze into his eyes, you wish for those eyes to be a wine red instead of the molten chocolate? Is it the things he says, when he echoes my words? Is it that when you snuggle into his rough bartenders outfit smelling of cigarettes, you wish to snuggle instead to a fur- lined coat and soft black shirt? Is it that when you are with him, you wish of me?" he asked, as I slowly backed away from him.  
"H- How d- did you know?" I stammered  
"I had to be blind not to see it, Vi- chan. All those years, you've dreamed of kissing me, wishing I would hold you in my arms, wishing I would love you." he said, coming closer to me. "You're a fool, Violet." he said, leaning in and smashing his lips on mine as I gasped in shock. The kiss was everything I'd ever dreamed of, he was in control, dominating me entirely but doing it in a way that made me feel protected. His cool lips fit my warm ones perfectly, as if I was meant for him. A short while later, he broke off as I stood there, breathless. He smirked. "Ta, ta, Vi- chan, see you around." he said, waving, and skipped off.

Several hours later  
I had decided to finally head to my apartment after hours of aimless walking around the streets. I had just come out of the elevator, turning around the corner down the long corridor to get to my room, when I froze upon hearing Izaya's voice. I quickly hid, praying he wouldn't notice me.  
"Izaya. Where is Violet?" I recognized Shinra's voice.  
"Probably somewhere off with Shizuo, why?"  
"Well she hasn't come back here in a while, and I was worried. So was Celty."  
"Why should I care?"  
"Izaya, stop it. We all know you care for her."  
"CARE for HER?" he maniacally laughed. "Why would I CARE for the likes of HER? She's every bit a monster as Shizu- chan is!"  
"She loves you, Izaya." Shinra said quietly.  
"I know that. I've known it for what, four years now?"  
"Can you honestly say she doesn't mean anything to you after all she's done, Izaya?"  
"MEAN anything to me? AHAHAHAHAHAH, Shinra, you certainly haven't changed. Violet is NOTHING to me, I don't care for her, I never did, I never will. She's been nothing but a useful knight in my game. She was entertaining, fun to be around with. She made the days I was bored amusing. She is nothing more than a valuable toy- supplying me with the information, informants and everything I could possibly need. My white Knight. Loving me for all this time, even though she's one of the few people who understands and knows me. She's not delusional like them, she seems to know how despicable I truly am, and that I don't care about being that way. But yet she still continued to love me, help me and do everything she could for me. She is a fool. A light- hearted fool and a monster. She couldn't truly think I'd ever love ANYONE? Least of all a part- Dulahan? I hate her."  
"Izaya, stop lying to yourself for once."  
"Lying? I don't lie to myself, Shinra. I see things the way they are. Besides, she's happy with Shizu- chan. Monsters fit well together, don't they?"

My mind in shock, my vision blurred, as I listened to Izaya in numb disbelief. I had believed him when he had said we were friends, I had trusted and believed in him... Izaya... Why did you lie then? You could've just said you hated me all those years ago, yet you didn't... Why did you lie and keep a mask on? Why did you fake the enjoyment? Unable to take it anymore, I silently moved away, and ran down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I booked a room in a hotel in Shinjuku several hours later, and after some shopping for alcohol, I returned to it. Izaya's words still rang in my mind, and other memories began to resurface.

I hate her.  
**Smile**  
Monsters fit well together, don't they?  
_Smile_  
You're a monster!  
Smile  
Get away from me, trash.  
**Smile**  
Friends? I don't recall that.  
_Smile_  
We were never friends, I was just pretending.  
Smile  
You are a disgrace.  
**Smile**  
Useless.  
_Smile_  
Unneeded.  
Smile  
You don't belong here.  
**Smile**  
Freak!  
_Smile_  
Who're you to talk to me that way?  
Smile  
Apologize, brat!  
**Smile**  
You suck!  
_Smile_  
Stop bothering.  
Smile  
I wish you would just die.  
**Smile**  
Why can't you be like your mother?  
_Smile_  
Fucking bitch, stop being so disrespectful.  
Smile  
Suck on it. Be good and I'll let you go.  
**Smile**  
Stop acting like a clown.  
_Smile_  
Hey, bitch!  
Smile  
She didn't cry when I hit her.  
**Smile**  
I heard she never cries.  
_Smile_  
You're nothing without us.  
Smile  
You're disgusting  
**Smile**  
Shit, I lost to THAT.  
_Smile_  
Shut up.  
Smile  
No one cares anyway.  
**Smile**  
You want to die? I can help you with that.  
_Smile_  
I never wanted to be your mom.  
Smile  
You're weak.  
**Smile**  
Why can't you get friends?  
_Smile_  
Why can't you be normal?  
Smile  
Who do you think you are?  
**Smile**  
Why do you even exist?  
... _Smile_?


	11. Back to being fake

The voices echoed in my head, memories resurfacing. I tried to stop remembering, I tried to lock those feelings inside. I tried to, without doing this. But it seems I wouldn't be able to without it. Unable to listen to the voices anymore, I unpacked the razor I'd bought, and separated it from the plastic. Almost in a surge of affection, I kissed the cold metal. Then I took my school uniform off, leaving myself in my underclothes, and slid the razor over my hip. Once, twice, three, four, five, six times the razor cut into my skin on each hip, leaving long bleeding gashes. The blood freely trickled down, and I felt immensely relieved as the crimson stained my skin and dripped onto the bathroom floor. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. The bright blood dripping instead of the tears, memories and feelings I keep locked inside. One, two, three, four more cuts on each arm, deep and long and thin. Even though I was part Dulahan and immortal, my healing abilities were much less efficient than Celty's. The scars mostly disappeared, but some remained on my hips, an even paler white than my skin.  
I stepped into the shower, mopping the blood off the floor with tissues beforehand, and just stood for a while under the cold water, letting it soothe me. After I got out, I lay on the bed naked, letting my body dry. An hour or so later I took bright blue bandages and wrapped my arms from wrist to elbow, securely fastening the knots. Then I thankfully fell asleep. I must've slept through 3 days (as my inside timemeter told me), because when I got up my phone was littered with missed phone calls and messages from pretty much everyone I knew. Except Izaya. My heart painfully clenched, but I shoved those feelings away again.

Ikebukuro. Three hours later  
"Shizu- chaaaaan!" I said, beaming, as the colored blonde opened the door and stared at me. Then, abruptly, he hugged me, crushing me to his chest.  
"Do you even know HOW worried I was?" he asked, breathing in my perfume.  
"Eheh, sorry. I was kinda busy and I took my time..." I said, hugging him back.  
"Come in then, idiot."  
"Hey!" I playfully slapped him. "I'm not an idiot! You're the idiot for worrying so much about nothing!"  
He closed the door behind me and sat next to me on the sofa.  
"So what did Izaya do?"  
"Eh?" I stiffened.  
"Spill. You wouldn't have disappeared on everyone like that if something hadn't happened. Now what did the flea do?"  
"N- Nothing!"  
"Oh really?" he growled, and as I leapt up to leave, he caught my bandaged wrist. I yelped in pain. He froze.  
"What is this?"  
"Oh, nothing." I smiled. "I just thought the blue would look good on me... Really, it's" he cut me off by pulling the bandage loose. When the bandage flew off, his eyes widened in horror as he saw the four clearly new deep cuts on my arm. I frantically scampered off towards the doorway, spilling coffee on myself in the process, but he caught me, holding my waist in an iron grip as I trembled, kicked and tried to get free at any cost, screaming all the way. I calmed down after a while, and hung limply in his arms, no strength left to stay upright. He brought me upstairs and gently redid the bandages on my arms. Then he took the coffee- ruined blouse and jeans off me, and sucked in his breath at seeing more cuts on my pale white skin. He probably bandaged them up as well, I didn't really notice anything at that point. I was blank, empty. And I still couldn't cry. So I let my consciousness sink into the darkness. I awoke, dragging myself out of the bed and quietly dressing so as to not awaken Shizuo. The blonde had been expecting this though, so when I started unbuttoning the bartender shirt I was dressed in to don my usual clothes, he caught me, pulling me back down with him, as I squirmed and tried to get away. Then I decided to use my shadows to escape, but Shizuo sensed it, and looked me in the eyes.  
"You wouldn't hurt ME now, Violet, would you?" he asked, sincerity ringing in his voice. I was shocked, the phrase bringing back memories of Izaya saying the exact same thing to me years ago, when I had gotten mad at him for not being careful enough and getting beat up by Shizuo pretty badly. I had been so worried and pissed, that I'd wanted to punch the shit out of him then and there so he'd learn his lesson and be more careful in the future. My eyes shimmered for a moment with unshed tears, and then I let the dam fall. I cried, in hysteria, for the first time in almost most of my life, and Shizuo held me as I broke down, whimpering and sobbing in a heart- wrenching way. I cried for all the pain I'd gone through, through all the hate and emotional torture people had inflicted on me simply because I was strange in their eyes. I cried for my love for Izaya, knowing how he would never care for me. I cried because he'd known I was a Dulahan the whole time. I cried for the cruel words, and whispers and looks. I cried for the rumors, for lying to myself. I cried for wishing Izaya was the one kissing and holding me instead of Shizuo. I cried because I understood I couldn't. No, wouldn't be able to live without Izaya's love. He was the everything for me both in personality and looks, and without him I simply lost my happiness. I'd been unwilling to face it. I had hoped, believed I could live and be happy without Izaya's love. I was foolish...

After I had quieted down somewhat, I found the strength in myself to lie to Shizuo again,(still not wanting Izaya to be hurt, because I wouldn't be able to take it- seeing him hurt) explaining that it was one of my informants who had upset me so. I lied that the informant had told me my best friend was dead. Well, I wasn't really lying on that part. Alice had really been my best friend, and died as well. But it had happened long ago, and it was just another scar in my heart. A scar that refused to heal and be forgotten. Quite suddenly, I realized that I'd be a wreck for most of my life, the scar caused by Izaya would never even distinctly heal, much less fade.  
The weeks passed, as I lived with a constant mask on, becoming a fake puppet. Shizuo didn't really seem to notice. That was probably because I had returned into my own flat for now under the excuse of wanting to "spend more time with Celty and Shinra", and saw him quite rarely. What I really did was go on about my usual things, doing what I usually did to avoid suspicions. Naturally, I wasn't spending time with Shinra or Celty- they'd probably notice. Any mention of the wine- eyed, raven- haired, pale- skinned devil caused me pain, and most things in my life, ironically, reminded me of him, thus causing me even more pain.  
One cold snowy morning, I woke drenched in tears. And then I knew I wouldn't be able to go on like this. I flipped my phone open to see a message from Izaya.

Izaya: Vi- chan! Do you think you could meet up with me today evening?  
I blinked back the tears in my eyes, knowing full well I wouldn't. Because I couldn't take it any longer.  
Violet: Sure thing, Izaya! Where?  
Izaya: My place, that alright with you?  
Violet: Sure. See you at approx 8?  
Izaya: Purr- fect, Vi- chan~

I sighed, closing the phone after turning it off and tossing it away from me. Then, dressing in my lovely white kimono, I used my shadows to walk through the town, unnoticed by anyone. I waltzed through the streets in a dance of darkness, pausing from time to time to glimpse Mikado, Anri and Kida laughing and throwing snowballs at each other, then Kadota, Walker, Saburo and Dotachin joined them seemingly out of nowhere. Shizuo was walking around with Tom. Celty sped by him and they waved at each other, both grinning, although Shizuo obviously couldn't see. And there, strolling around leisurely, was the man I loved. Izaya Orihara. He was skipping along the road, and for a moment I had a mad desire to reach out from the shadows, tell him I loved him and kiss him again, do anything so that I could just be with him. Then the moment passed, and, casting one last look full of longing at him, I let my shadows transport me away to somewhere high up, to the very top of one of the highest skyscrapers in Ikebukuro. I'd chosen this one because the top wasn't monitored, and almost never checked. Just perfect for what I intended to do. I set the box of pills down next to me, sitting down. But first, I'll think for a while.


	12. Why?

Izaya's POV

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration, closing my eyes. What was wrong with me lately?

Why had I kissed her? Why? I'd wanted to keep her as the only true friend I'd ever had, I didn't want to let her think I felt anything for her- that was impossible! Anything between us is impossible! She is the closest thing to a friend I ever had and will have, she understands me perfectly and never says the things I do are wrong. She knows I have my reasons for the games I play, be it amusement or something else. She knows me, the REALme. She doesn't criticize me or delude herself, but she still loves me. How foolish. She knows I'll never return her feelings in that way, but she still loves me.

I didn't understand my actions last week. Why had I kissed her? To tease her? Then why did I say all those awful, false things about her to Shinra after it? I didn't mean any of them, least of all when I said she meant nothing to me and that I hate her. I suppose I was just mad for some reason. Upset, even. But why? And why was I STILL thinking about it? I had even called Shinra after that and apologized. APOLOGIZED for what I SAID! I sighed again.

I kept thinking back to the time when she responded so willingly to the kiss I gave her, arching her back and pressing her body into mine. I keep remembering the way her warm lips tasted, the way her face was coated in a blush, the way her amethyst eyes sparkled in delight, the way she felt so... perfect against me...

Why?

Why do I keep remembering this?

Damn this all! I need to meet her, to talk to her. Maybe she'll help me out... And I want to see her again... I flipped open my phone and sent her a text.

Izaya: Vi- chan! Do you think you could meet up with me today evening?

I held my breath. Maybe she wouldn't want to meet up?

Violet: Sure thing, Izaya! Where?

Izaya: My place, that alright with you?

Violet: Sure. See you at approx 8?

Izaya: Purr- fect, Vi- chan~

I closed my phone, leaning back in the armchair, and breathed a sigh of relief. Tonight, tonight it'll all come clear. She's the only one who can help me understand.

An hour later, I jerked awake from an all too vivid dream I'd been having. I splashed my face with cold water to fully awaken. Although I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to go wrong. That image of her, splayed out somewhere in the snow, eyes open and unseeing, was stuck in my mind. What could it mean?

Eight in the evening came and went. By 12 o'clock there still was no sign or news from Violet. I was bewildered, to say the least. Violet was always punctual, even arriving before the appointed time. And she'd never want to willingly miss spending time with me, would she?

Would she?

I think not... She would've at least told me something. She would've at least sent a text or called... Where was she?

01.05 am 01 January

I'm sure she'll call today. If she doesn't, then I will call Shinra.

I waited all day. No calls, texts or news came from Violet. It was not only just unusual, but worrying. Strangely enough, it worried me.

07.00 am 02 January

I called Celty and Shinra, since before I'd heard Shizu- chan say Violet had been spending time with them. Turns out they hadn't seen her for several weeks. Worry gnawing at my heart, I decided to check Violet's flat.

11.30

We checked Violet's flat, she wasn't there. Celty and Shinra helped me look for any clues as to where she could've gone to, but we found none. Violet, having learned from me, knew how to conceal any traces of things suspicious and leading to her whereabouts. And she'd done so deliberately- now even I didn't know where she was.

"Shinra, scour the city with Celty, check all the places you know she liked to go to."

"What'll you do?" typed Celty, and I sighed.

"I'll find Shizuo."

"No, Izaya! I'll handle him!" she typed to me furiously and I smiled.

"I believe I can handle it. I'm not going to make him mad, don't worry. Besides you need to tell Erika, Kida and the others too. Maybe they've seen her."

"Celty, let's go. I'm sure they can handle each other." said Shinra, beckoning. Celty spared me one final glance and followed Shinra.

14.30

I groaned under my breath. Why was it that when I strolled along Ikebukuro in broad DAYLIGHT, Shizu- chan was nowhere to be found? When I need him, he's NOWHERE to be found, but when I'm just minding my own business, he pops out of the ground like the devil himself. But who am I to say?

Oh my. Seems I've gotten a beautiful idea. I ran into the road, separating from the crowd, and started yelling.

"SHIZU- CHAAAAAAAAN!"

In a few seconds the maddened blonde appeared, and, upon sighting me, proceeded to tear a STOP sign out of the pavement.

"Izaya, didn't I tell you to never set foot in Ikebukuro AGAIN?"

"Shizuo. I'm here to talk. Lower the pole." I said in a peaceful manner, lifting my hands up in a 'surrender' gesture, and making no move to run away as he ran at me, swinging the pole.


	13. Searching for Violet

The 02 of Januray, around 14.30 .  
Shizuo's POV:  
I was calmly strolling around Ikebukuro, when I heard a very familiar yell from across the street and saw Izaya Orihara himself standing in IKEBUKURO, the place I'd told him to never come again.

"SHIZU- CHAAAAAAAAN!"

After a few torturous seconds of Izaya yelling my name, I tore a STOP sign out of the pavement.

"Izaya, didn't I tell you to never set foot in Ikebukuro AGAIN?"

"Shizuo. I'm here to talk. Lower the pole." he said in a seemingly peaceful manner, lifting his hands up in a "surrender" gesture, and making no move to run away as I ran at him, swinging the pole. Then, as I thought about what he said, running in slow motion, it hit me. He had said "Shizuo". He NEVER calls me that. Damn flea, for once he was telling the truth, and that means something serious has happened. Using all of my willpower, I stopped, the STOP sign inches from Izaya's face. It wouldn't do to upset Violet, especially after she'd believed I could control my power. With another effort of will, I lowered the pole and turned to Izaya.

"What is it, flea? Speak quickly, my patience is wearing out." I growled at him

"Then I'll get straight to the point." he said, lowering his hands. That was also unlike him- he never liked getting straight to the point. For that matter, he never lowered his guard down around me either. What is going on? "Shizuo, have you seen Violet lately?" he asked me, the question catching me completely off guard as my mind raced.

"Let's see, well I haven't seen her for a week now."

"So you saw her before?"

"Yes, but rarely. The past few weeks she's been spending time with Celty and Shinra, so I don't get to see much of her..."

"She hasn't." Izaya said quite calmly as I stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll start from the beginning. I texted her in the morning of January the 1st, and she agreed to come over to my place and talk over some matters around 8 o'clock evening. Since Violet is very punctual and doesn't like letting her friends down, as we both know, she would've come earlier. In fact, she always comes earlier. Being late for her is unusual. I thought something might've happened, so I waited till 12 o' clock. Still she didn't call or text me. The next day, I called Shinra, figuring Violet must've been spending time with him and Celty. They were as surprised as I was when they said they hadn't seen her for several weeks. We searched her flat, and she deliberately destroyed all the things that could lead to her whereabouts. And don't say she wouldn't have done something like that. I know her signature handiwork, I've known her for 5 years. Maybe even more."

"So are you saying... Violet is missing?"

"Exactly."

I stared at him, searching for traces of lies in his eyes, for the familiar twinkle of deceit, almost hoping to find it. But there was none. Violet truly was missing. I felt my heart plummet somewhere deep down, afraid, worried. For once, as I looked at Izaya, I didn't feel any desire to throttle him or anything. No, this time, as I glanced into his eyes, I noticed they mirrored my fear and worry for Violet, and all my hate evaporated somewhere. For some time, we just stood there, looking at each other, for once truly lost for words and actions. Then Izaya's phone rang.

"Yes? Oh, really. I see. Alright, we'll be there." he closed it and deeply sighed.

"What is it?"

"No one has seen Violet in the past few days, my contacts haven't seen her either. And Erika is holding a meeting at Shinra's place for those who want to help find Violet. We'll be discussing information and tactics in an hour or so. You coming?" he asked, turning to me

"Of course!"

"Then let's go."

02 January 10.30 pm

Shinra's place, Celty's POV

There were 10 people gathered in our flat for now. Izaya's informants and friends of the people in the living room were scouring the city for any sign of Violet. Everyone present had exchanged numbers and gathered in groups to discuss anything they knew about where Violet was last seen. I was very worried, and I had tried to use my shadows to pinpoint her location, but they couldn't even feel her presence.

Okay, people gathered here please shut up so I know who's here and write your names on the list!" yelled Erika, catching everyone's attention.

"Saburo here."

"Kadota here."

"Tom here."

"Shinra and Celty here." Shinra shouted out for us, and I gave him a grateful look.

"Walker here."

"M- Mikado here."

"Masaomi here."

"Simon here."

"Anri here."

"Mairu and Kururi here."

"Kasuka here."

"Izaya and Shizuo here." said Izaya, walking in with the blonde and closing the door, as everyone stared.

"What on earth has happened?" asked a bewildered Masaomi, STARING at Izaya and Shizuo calmly taking a seat near each other on the sofa.

"Is it the end of the world already?" dramatically proclaimed Walker, pretending he was about to faint.

"What is so surprising about me and Shizuo uniting in a dire situation?" asked Izaya with a slight smile on his face.

"In any case, people, we've got to focus here. As of now, Violet is officially missing." there were collective gasps around the room, and Erika continued. "As you all know, she is very punctual and hates to worry her friends. The last any of us heard from her was that she was going to meet Izaya around 8.00 yesterday his place. Usually, whenever she's late or can't come, she either calls or sends a text so we don't worry. There have been no news about Violet, and she hasn't been sighted in any of her regular places yet. As of now, we don't know her whereabouts. Anyone who has ideas please go to Celty, she will take down notes. Tomorrow all of you will split into groups of 2-3 people and set out to look for her. I will shuffle the names now so you know whom you're gonna be working with."

Silence fell over the room as Erika methodically wrote down names. I had a bad feeling in my heart, as I remembered the dream of Violet I had seen yesterday. She was splayed out in the snow somewhere, wearing her favorite white and red kimono, eyes open and glazed over, frozen tears on her cheeks, pale skin almost as white as the fallen snow, and cold as marble. I couldn't wake her up, as much as I tried to. I shook the thought out of my head. We would find her. We HAD to.

"Alright, here are the groups. Masaomi and Saburo. Kadota and Anri. Mikado and Tom. Simon and Shinra. Kasuka and Mairu. Kururi and Erika, so me. Izaya and Shizuo, try not to kill each other since you're in a group together. Walker and Celty, you two will be riding around the city looking for any sign of Violet. All clear?"

There was a chorused ''YES", and the people slowly filed out.

11.45 pm

Dollars chat.

Kanra: Hello? Anyone online?

Setton: I'm online.

Saika: Me too.

~Tanaka Tarou has logged in~

Tanaka Tarou: Fellow Dollars, we have an emergency! A friend of mine has gone missing, and we need to find her ASAP! This is her photo link, and her name is Violet Namida Nakasone. If anyone has any knowledge or news about her whereabouts, please post here immediately!

Kanra: So Violet is also your friend, Tanaka?

Setton: She's mine too! I've already posted the same message in several other group chats, so I think most Dollars know about her by now.

Saika: Kanra- San, Setton- San, Tanaka- San, how did you guys meet her?

Kanra: Well it was quite a while ago...

Setton: Did she by any chance try to feed you after it?

Kanra: Why, yes. Did she do that to you too?

Setton: She tends to do that. Although I'll admit, the things she makes me eat are those I've never tasted before!

Kanra: You too? Amazing, she seems to have a knack of knowing who tasted what...

Tanaka Tarou: Hey, have you guys heard from Lokant recently?

Setton: Come to think of it, he wasn't online for quite a while.

Saika: Yes, maybe he's also looking for Violet- San?

Kanra: Probably. Anyways, guys, I have to go and look up some stuff that might give me a clue to Violet's whereabouts.

~Kanra has logged out~

Setton: Me too. Bye guys.

Setton has logged out~

~Tanaka Tarou has logged out~

~Saika has logged out~

04th January 16.30

Izaya's POV:

"Izaya! Any luck yet?" growled Shizuo in my ear.

"Not yet, Shizuo, but I'd appreciate it if you kept quiet. I'm trying to hack into Violet's computer, and that's quite hard to do with you breathing down my neck."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I know we're all stressed because we haven't found her yet. But remember, she's a Dulahan, so her chance of survival is much higher than any normal girl's." I said, as Shizuo yet again glanced at the raging blizzard outside my apartments window and frowned.

"I just hope we find her in time..." he trailed off, looking lost just as the computer clicked and I uttered a triumphant "YES".

"Alright, let's see if she's left any clues here." I said, already scrolling through her files and folders, looking for suspicious things. AHA! There. Shizuo leaned in closer to the screen.

"A folder named Diary? Why would she write on her computer?" he asked, bewildered, as I clicked the file and the screen flickered.

ENTER PASSWORD

_ _/_ _/ _ _ _ _

"And that is the answer to your question, Shizuo. She was certain no one could open this folder. Besides, who would bother reading a girl's diary? The person stealing the computer would probably just erase all the files."

"Can you open it?"

"I'm not sure... It seems to be a date of sorts. Shizu- chan, what's your birthday?"

"The 28th of January 1986."

TYPE

28/01/1986

ENTER

ERROR!

WRONG PASSWORD!

"Shit. Let's try her birthday next."

ERROR!

WRONG PASSWORD

ERROR

WRONG PASSWORD

ERROR

WRONG PASSWORD

ERROR

WRONG PASSWORD

WARNING! 2 TRIES LEFT.

"Dammnit!" I hissed, racking my brain for ideas. Then...

"Shizuo, did we try my birthday?"

"No."

"Alright, lets try it."

TYPE

04/05/1986

"Wait, weren't you born in 1979?" he asked, confused, as I smiled.

"No, most people seem to think that for some reason, but it's a downright lie. They also think I was born in 1985 as the "official records" say. But Violet, she knew my real birthday date. She used to laugh at the 1979 one, saying I would be too old." I grinned at the memories. "She knew me better than anyone."

"You mean she KNOWS you better than anyone." Shizuo said sternly, as I looked at him in surprise.

"I suppose you're right..."

"After we find her, I'm asking her out for real. And don't think I'll lose to you!" he said, lightly punching my shoulder.

"Lose... To me?"

"Of course, you idiot! She's such a Baka that she can love you as well as me, but I'll prove to her I'm better."

"You already are..."

"Hey, stop being so UNLIKE yourself! Where's your usual snide remark or comment? Where's your battle spirit? Eh, Izaya?" he crossly asked me, as I stared at him in shock.

"Could I really ever be good enough for her?"

"Of COURSE! She loves you, that means you are! But don't think that puts you on my good list." he said, grinning.

"Alright then, we'll both ask her out. And I doubt she'd accept an invitation from the likes of you!"

"That's more like it! We'll see about that though."

"Shizu- chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I never thought I'd say it, but thanks, Shizuo."

"Hmph. No problem, flea."

TYPE

ENTER

PASSWORD CONFIRMED.

"What is this..."

"A... Poem?"

Like ruby red,

My tears shall fall,

My heart had bled,

An empty call.

Like cherry blossoms in the spring,

My feelings danced, alight,

You were my everything, my dark King,

But I was just your white Knight.

The white has faded now to grey,

Losing something dear,

And now I've lost my way,

But also lost my fear.

I'm looking at the starry sky,

The cold embracing me,

My breath has stopped, no sigh,

Eyes darkened like the stormy sea...

To Izaya- kun.

I'm fairly certain that if you're reading this, I'm probably dead. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you, I'm sorry you had to pretend to be my friend for all this time, be fake. I'm sorry I never told you I was a Dulahan, but you know that anyway... I'm sorry for many things, I suppose. For not telling you of my true feelings or of my past, for sometimes lying. However, I'm not sorry for loving you. I love you, Izaya. I always will. Please forgive me for that and for what I'm about to do. But after what you've said to Shinra, I've realized you have no use for me. You don't need me. You'll manage perfectly well without me and my foolish love. But I can't live without your love, Izaya, I can't live without you. I love you. I was foolish for ever thinking I could make do without you...

We had a lot of fun in the beginning I suppose. Especially when you had tried all those tasty things for the first time- seeing your face in unmasked surprise was invigorating for me. Snuggling with you and arguing with you, fighting with you and learning from you, just being with you. It was the best time of my life, and I'm being sincere here. I love you.

Izaya, continue being that unique person you are. Don't ever change.

Dear Shizuo.

I care for you, I really do. I love you as well, but I don't want you to suffer with a girl who'll truly love only one person forever. I don't want you to suffer seeing how I hide the pain and the secrets, how I cry at night but never tell you anything, how I cut... I do love you, Shizuo, but I want you to find someone worthy of you. Someone truly worthy of being with you. Find a truthful strong girl, who'll be there for you. A girl who can toss aside her past scars and pain, a girl who can truly start living anew. Unlike me... I'm broken, Shizuo. You can't fix me, as much as I'd want that. As much as I'd want to be happy with you and try, I can't. Because I'll always keep thinking that Izaya hates me. I'll always remember those burning wine eyes as long as I live. And as long as he hates me, I can't survive...

Who am I kidding, I won't survive. I love you, Shizuo. I do. If I had only met you before Izaya. Maybe if I had even stayed in the Russian Sushi bar when Izaya had strangled me and you had walked in on that. Maybe then, if I'd stayed on the floor and let you talk to me, maybe we'd have gotten together.

I really wish that was possible. All those times I didn't talk to you, when I could've... Don't cry, Shizuo, you're amazing and beautiful and I love you so.

Be happy without me.

P.S- don't blame Izaya and please don't harm him.

MESSAGE DELIVERED. USER "LOKANT" HAS BEEN TERMINATED.

PRINTOUT PROCEEDING.

WARNING, PRINTOUT IN PROCESS.

PRINTOUT COMPLETE.

SYSTEM TERMINATED.

I stared in disbelief at the blackened screen, fingers still placed on the keyboard. Something wet dropped onto them. I lifted my hand up to my face and touched my cheek. It was wet. Was I crying? I stood up, tears leaking down my face, as Shizuo got up and left, slamming the door behind himself. A fit of hysteria overcame me and I mirthlessly laughed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA... Haa... Haa... Hah..."

Was I going insane- I wondered, as I fell to my knees, still laughing, tears streaming down my face. All this time, I cared for her. I loved her. I loved her so much, and I didn't even know it myself! The fragile wonderful girl who cared for and loved the selfish me was gone now. I'd no longer see her beautiful amethyst eyes widen in surprise or shine with delight. I'd no longer hear her tinkling laugh or her buoyant voice, feel her gentle touch, spend time with her or laugh at her silly jokes... I loved her, I truly did. But I'd realized it too late. All because I was so stuck up and prejudiced! Because I never believed I could love ANYONE! I had hurt her, knowing how much she had been hurt in her past, I had still hurt her... And she'd never complained, she'd even tried to HELP me... Violet...

I'm so sorry, Violet. My dear, beautiful Violet. Vi- chan... I'm so sorry... I couldn't... Save you...

Shizuo's POV:

Hurt.

No, anguished beyond measure.

Pained beyond description.

But still I believed...

Violet was always one to like beautiful views. That's why she was always one to like high places. She'd always drag me to somewhere with a beautiful city view, somewhere high up where the masses of buildings wouldn't get in the way of the scarlet sunset or sunrise, with the rays of the sun shining softly through clouds and highlighting them peach or beige, rose or vermillion.

~Memories~

"Shizu- chaaan, you know why I like that building?"

"Why, Violet?"

"Because the top is so perfectly round and the platform is so HUGE! The view from there is AMAZING! One day I'll drag you up there!"

"But there are cameras there, Violet. It would be almost impossible."

"Actually, that's one of the few buildings in Ikebukuro without cameras on the top!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Then sure, we should go there one day."

"Mm!"

~Memories end~

I ran through the glass doors, the sunset flashing through them and painting everything a light red. I took the elevator.

1

5

8

12

16

18

20

22

27

30

Too SLOW! Dammnit, I needed to get to her fast! Even though Violet was a Dulahan, even with her regenerative capabilities, she wouldn't survive for much longer up there.

50

56

60

FINALLY! I crossed over to the barred metal doors and pried them open, destroying the metal sheets as easily as paper ones. The freezing night air hit me, and I ran outside onto the rooftop, frantically searching for any sign of Violet. THERE! In the far corner of the rooftop! I hurried over to her and stopped in my tracks, recognizing the dream I'd had. Splayed out in the snow, black hair covered with specks of snow, amethyst eyes open, darkened, pale skin whiter than the snow. As I came closer, I saw a half- buried bottle of pills, some still remaining in her small hand. No, oh no.


	14. Please, no!

Splayed out in the snow, black hair covered with specks of ice, amethyst eyes open, darkened, pale skin whiter than the snow. As I came closer, I saw a half- buried bottle of pills, some still remaining in her small hand. No, oh no.

"Please no, please be alive!" I murmured, running to her side as she blinked.

"Oh, S.. hizu- ... ch... an..." she whispered, struggling to look up at me.

"Shh, don't speak. I'll get you out of here, everything'll be alright!" I said, gently picking her up bridal style and heading back to the broken doors.

"W- wait... the... sun..set... is so... beauti...fu...l..." she said, smiling, as her eyes closed and her head fell back onto my arm.

"HEY, Violet! VIOLET! Hang in there, oh please no! Don't you DARE die on me here!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face as I pressed her marble- cold body closer to myself. In desperation, I looked over the railing. Anyone, anything, please help! And then I saw _her_. At that moment she seemed a goddess to me.

"CELTY! OVER HERE, CELTY! WALKER!" I bellowed at the tiny black motorcycle beneath me. Celty heard. Or felt... In any case, she swerved round, completely ignoring the loud honkings and curses received from drivers. A black web formed from her shadows, and she motioned to me. I backed away slightly, securing my hold on Violet, then ran, jumped over the railing and plummeted down, the web enveloping and gently catching me, setting me down on the pavement. Walker immediately got off the bike and offered his place to me, where Celty strapped me down with shadows. We sped off towards the nearest hospital, arriving shortly. I prayed to anyone listening that we weren't too late, as they took her into intensive care. Please, Violet! You have got to live!

What seemed like an eternity later, a tired doctor exited and came over to us. Seeing our worried looks, he briefly smiled.

"She'll be fine, you two. But an hour later, and we wouldn't have been able to save her."

"She's really... She's really going to be alright, Doctor?" I asked, barely concealing my tears and relief.

"Yes, she will. She's unconscious for now, and she should stay in the hospital for maybe a month or so, but after that she'll be perfectly fine. With her regeneration rate, she'll be up in no time."

"Thank you, oh thank you SO MUCH!" I whispered, as the doctor wearily grinned and left to drink some coffee.

"Celty, she's going to be all right! SHE'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!" I yelled, as we hugged each other. After we had slightly calmed down, we realized we'd have to tell everyone the news immediately. After all, there was no use waiting here and doing nothing...

Celty sent everyone texts and dropped me off at Izaya's a short while later. If Izaya hadn't cracked the computer and her file, I doubt we'd have been able to save her... I entered, and upon finding myself in twilight, switched on the lights. Izaya was lying on the floor, dried tear streaks on his face, quietly sobbing and issuing choked laughter from time to time, as I stood there, shocked. Had he really not understood how much he'd loved her before? Had he really not understood that he loved her at all? Suddenly, I remembered what Violet had said about him.

"He doesn't really understand feelings, Shizuo. What he feels is like a shadow of what we feel. He doesn't acknowledge them. No, he doesn't want to acknowledge them, so he simply doesn't use them. I wish he'd tried once at least... Oh well, it IS Izaya after all... Nothing I can do about it..."

I sighed, realizing what she'd said was very true. Well at least since Izaya thought Violet was dead, he'd awakened his feelings and realized he loved her.

"Hey, Izaya. Get your pathetic sorry ass off the floor." I said, prodding him with a foot. He turned his head towards me, and for the first time I was afraid. His eyes, his usually devious wine eyes with a sly twinkle, had darkened almost to black. Looking into them was like looking into an abyss. _Empty_.

"Say, Shizu- chan... You've always wanted to kill me, right... Well go on then. I won't resist you or mock you. All you have to do is place those big hands of yours around my neck and squeeze... So go on.. It's my fault Violet died, you'd want to avenge her, right?"

I stared at him in complete shock. Was this really Izaya? What had he turned into?

"Ah, you're thinking I'm a complete wreck, aren't you? I suppose you are right. I don't really care for anything anymore. It's what you could call _broken. _I never truly realized until some hours ago, how much I truly cared for her. How much I truly loved her. Feelings were a fleeting thing for me back then. I didn't really want to acknowledge them, I was having way too much fun without them. I'm pathetic, aren't I? I'm a selfish scheming disgusting human without which the world would be much better off... So come on, Shizu- chan, do the world and yourself a favor. Kill me."

"Kill me." he repeated again, as I put my hands round his neck.


	15. We wait

"Kill me." he repeated again, as I put my hands round his neck.  
I looked at the person I hated so much. The darkened eyes begging for release from what he assumed was his personal Hell. I sighed, and as he closed his eyes, I slapped him. Hard. His eyes flew open and he looked surprised.  
"You bloody IDIOT! Did you ever THINK what Violet would say if she found out about this?" I growled, and he blinked.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Did you even READ her letter, you selfish PRICK? She said DON'T EVER CHANGE. Do you think she would've LIKED you to DIE or commit SUICIDE?" I yelled at him. "I LOVED her, Izaya! More than you EVER did! And unlike you, I REALIZED that I loved her. Do you see ME becoming a wreck and giving up on life?"

"ANSWER ME, FLEA."  
"No..."  
"Exactly! Then-"  
"That's the true reason why I hate you, Shizu- chan. I've always hated you for being strong... No matter how many physical or emotional obstacles I throw at you, you never waver off your course, you take them head on. You always remain standing, pursuing your desires and goals no matter how many jobs you get fired from, no matter what happens... The truth is, I envied you for that... I could never be that strong. All I'm good for is messing with people's minds, playing games, appearing all- too- perfect to people who don't know me..."  
"And that's why I've always hated you, Izaya. You're too ideal, too perfect, too clever for your own good. You're rational, calm in any situation, you think things through. You're everything I won't ever be. And yet everything I don't want to be. But you're weak."  
"I know..."  
"Then get your pathetic sorry ass off the floor and get back to business." I said, exiting the apartment.  
"Right..."  
_Alone_...

A day later.  
Me and Celty decided to hide the fact that Violet was alive from Izaya, so using Shinra's influence and medical degree, we moved her out of the hospital, deleting all traces of her staying there with the help of Violet's spies in Izaya's network. Now everyone who had been searching for her knew she was alive and all right. Everyone except Izaya. We decided that if he found out she was alive, he'd have time to hide his feelings until she wakes up. And then nothing would change because she'd probably try to commit suicide again. So now we wait.

Izaya's POV:  
Bleak. _Empty_.  
I truly never thought I'd ever feel this way. I felt... Useless. Unneeded?  
There was no purpose in life for me anymore. Even my messing with people's minds and observing my beloved humans didn't seem to help. I felt _alone_.  
Whenever I walked through the crowds and saw someone looking like Violet, thinking it was her, I'd smile, skipping closer to her, but my exclamation of "Vi- chan" would die on my lips, as the girl turned and wouldn't be Violet. I searched through the crowds, looking at purple eyes and onyx hair, none could be compared to _her_. She was so bright and beautiful, she couldn't even be compared to the dull humans walking to and from their work and home. And not even the brightest smile could lift my mood, because I always compared that smile to _her_.  
Why had I been so stupid? So selfish?  
I just wanted her back, with me. I wanted to walk around town like we used to, I wanted her to stuff something in my mouth and say "Shut up and eat" with that signature grin of hers. I wanted to play shogi with her, hear her tinkling laugh, see her amusement at things normal humans found terrifying... But most of all, I wanted to see her _smile_ again. I wanted to see her smile at _me_.  
What do I do now? I've got no choice to do anything but wait... Wait for what? Something that might bring back the usual me I suppose...  
_But without her that's never going to happen_.

We wait...


	16. Colorful mind

Colorful mind by Broken Iris

YouTube the song

Picture perfect mutilation;

Bright to black with no hesitation.

All the right shades on the wrong page,

Make up this colorful mind of mine.

Soothing brush strokes, scraping paint.

Loosen your grip before it all fades.

Vibrant rays, eclipsed by the haze,

Make up your colorful mind

Much less colorful

Will this be another day of night in here?

The knife's not sharp enough to fear.

If I ever see you in white

Try to stay.

The room's not light for a gray.

Will this be another day and night

If I ever see you in white?

If I ever see you in white

Try to stay.

The room's not light for a gray.

Make up this colorful mind.

Izaya's POV:

I clicked pause at the very end of the song and sighed, running my hands through my hair in frustration. For almost a month now, I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. I kept listening to Violet's ultimately depressing playlist and thinking of all the twisted things I'd said to her, over and over again. Like a jammed disk, the words kept going round and round in my mind. A demented roundabout... I swirled in my chair, facing the perfect view of a flaming red sunset, and half- closed my eyes. What was I to do?

Really, what was I to do?...

Masaomi's POV:

"Maaaaaaan, it's SO BORING without Violet, don't cha agree, Mikado?"

"Mhm..." answered a zombie voice, and I glanced at Mikado sitting opposite me with the gloomiest expression he'd ever had. Walker sighed from across the room.

"I can't even watch anime."

"Easy for you to say, I can't even draw my yaoi manga we started with Violet!" muttered Erika.

"Yeah, and no one cooks as well as Violet..." trailed off Kadota. We all sighed.

"LIFE IS TOO GLOOOOOOMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/"

"Masaomi, shut up." Mikado cut me off.

We all sighed again.

Shizuo's POV:

I sighed, for what must've been the umpteenth time this month, looking at the pale angelic face resting on the pillow with a mop of shimmering raven hair spread out around her like a dark halo. Violet was in a self- induced coma (Shinra's deduction), and still hadn't woken up. I wasn't really worried about her physical state, since we had saved her just in time for her Dulahan regeneration abilities to kick in. Now she was fully healed physically, but I wasn't so sure about her mental state. Celty had tried to call her in the Dulahan way a couple of times, but Violet's mind was perfectly blocked. It was all so stupid! Just because of ONE DAMNED FLEA! I need to calm down. Calm down, Shizuo. It's fine, it's alright

"I WILL ERADICATE THAT FLEA!" I bellowed, and Shinra's head popped round the doorway.

"Oi, Shizuo, just because Violet is in a coma and can't hear anything, it doesn't mean we can't as well, you know?" he tsk-ed disapprovingly, and I silenced myself.

Violet's POV:

_I was floating through the darkness. It was silent, except for the sound of my soft breathing. The darkness felt good, comforting. I'd longed for this for quite a while, it seemed. Handling all the loneliness and constant smiles had been too much for me. Of course, I had been happy for a while. Happy... I liked that warm feeling in my chest when I was happy... It was when Shizuo smiled at me. When Celty would constantly punch Shinra but all he'd do was smile. The way Erika and Walker argued about anime. The food, my favorite French cafe.. The sweet smell of cinnamon. The laughter of those around me when I'd stuff a huge piece of cake into Shizuo's mouth, trying to feed him normally but failing. The walks we all had in the evenings, with the moon huge and silver over the horizon and twinkling stars winking at us from above. Masaomi trying to ask me out again, Anri blushing with embarrassment.. _

_But most of all, most of all... I was happy with __**him**__.. It was a bittersweet happiness though. I missed __**his**_ _wine- colored eyes widening in fake innocence and amusement at the situation. The way __**he**_ _smirked, toying with people. So despicable yet so admirable. I missed __**him**_ _tilting my chin up with __**his**_ _long, pale fingers. I missed __**his**_ _cool touch which sent goosebumps all over my body. The way __**he**_ _talked, drawling out __**his**_ _words as if __**he**_ _had all the time in the world, insulting people in such clever little ways they didn't even notice. The way __**he**_ _moved, able to easily keep up with me, a part- Dulahan, if I didn't use my Shadow Walking. Graceful, swift and unrelenting in __**his**_ _movements. __**His**_ _fighting was always serious, even if __**his**_ _expression was not. It was all easy for __**him**__, the twisted jester. I smiled inwardly, my heart fluttering._

_... Warm? Why do I feel... Warm? _

_I touched my chest, where I could feel my heart dully beating, and concentrated. Suddenly, whispers filled the darkness around me, in sync with my heartbeat._

Violet, we miss you

Violet, come back

Violet, I wanna draw yaoi with you again

Violet, I want to talk more with you

Violet, prihodi yest' * Russian Sushi!

Oi Violet, stop being such a douche and come back already!

Yeah, it's boring without you

SO BORING

Not to mention no one cooks for us anymore!

I still wanna ask you out again, Hime- chan!

I- I want t- to have more walks with you, Violet

Come back, Violet

_Come back... Where?_

Home, of course!

Home, Violet!

Your flat which has huge windows and an awesome view!

The place that's opposite ours, and we often spend time together!

The Russian Sushi Bar!

The French cafe you love so much!

Where all of us are waiting for you

**Where I'm waiting, Vi- chan.**

**Where you belong.**

_My heart throbbed as I heard Izaya's voice. Could it be... Could __**he**_ _really want me back? Could __**he**__? The chorus of whispers rose, and my chest began burning._

**"Come home, Violet**." _whispered __**his**_ _velvety voice, and blindly, I followed it through the darkness to the faint spot of light ahead. And then my eyes opened and I could see again._


	17. Back to what?

_My heart throbbed as I heard Izaya's voice. Could it be... Could __**he**_ _really want me back? Could __**he**__? The chorus of whispers rose, and my chest began burning._

**"Come home, Violet."** _whispered __**his**_ _velvety voice, and blindly, I followed it through the darkness to the faint spot of light ahead. And then my eyes opened and I could see again._

Violet's POV

The first thing I saw, or, rather, heard, was Shizuo.

"I WILL ERADICATE THAT FLEA!" he bellowed, and Shinra's head popped round the doorway.

"Oi, Shizuo, just because Violet is in a coma and can't hear anything, it doesn't mean we can't as well, you know?" he tsk-ed, and Shizuo shut up. I waited for a bit longer, until I was sure Shinra was out of hearing reach, and burst out laughing. A second later, I heard a loud thump and looked down to the floor to see Shizuo had fainted, probably from fright. I tried to stifle my giggle fit, but failed, and ended up laughing harder than ever, which inevitably brought both Shinra and Celty to the room. They watched, incredulous, as I hiccuped, blushing, and pointed at Shizuo, imitating him faint. That didnt make them laugh, unfortunately, but it made both Shinra and Celty glomp me so tight I couldn't breathe. Then Shizuo chose this moment to arise from his deathly slumber and stare at me. In another moment, I was swept off the bed and into a bone- crushing hug by said Sleeping Beauty.

"Sh- Shizuo... Can't... Breathe..." I choked out, and he immediately let go.

"Violet, how are you feeling?" asked Shinra with a serious look, and thoughts filled my head. And then it hit me. I was alive. Alive. Why? Why wasn't I dead?! I was better off dead, everyone was better off without me! Without me and my secrets! I caused pain to everyone! Pain, worry, I was a nuisance, useless, unneeded. So why? Why couldn't they just let me die?! And now... Now I'd have to face Izaya again! Live through all that pain over and over and over! Smile, smile, smile at everything and everyone like I did before I came to Tokyo. Try to be happy... Be happy... While watching Izaya from the sidelines. Knowing I never meant anything to him, never was even his friend, much less someone treasured by him.. I didn't want to... I couldn't and I won't be able to take it anymore! To bear with all that again. To bear living with this crushing feeling in my chest, this... This emptiness! Not being able to distract myself from thinking about Izaya with anything but selfharm. Not being able to enjoy anything, concentrate on anything, admire anything or anyone... Meaningless, everything would be meaningless. Nothing has meaning without him, without his love. Without his care... Tears shimmered in my eyes as I thought of what I'd have to endure. An eternity of suffering. My immortal Dulahan genes wouldn't let me die from old age, and I'd have to not only live without Izaya, I'd have to watch my dear human friends die before my very eyes. I'd have to remain alone... The thoughts were too much to bear with, and I could feel my mind recoiling, withdrawing into itself to separate me from this emotional pain. I was just about to stick my usual fake smile on my face, when Shizuo looked at me.

"How about this time you don't lie, Violet?" Shizuo said quietly. "And don't put that fake smile on again..." I looked at him, shocked, and finally noticed his heavy gaze. Shinra straightened his glasses and sternly glanced at me.

"Do you even know what you've put us through? I wasn't there when you were found, and I'm glad enough for that. But Shizuo was, and he explained what had happened and how you looked in all colors. What would you have accomplished, had you actually died? You think we'd have been happy? You think Shizuo could've normally lived on? You think Izaya could've continued staying the same without you?"

"Izaya doesn't/"

"Yes he does." Shizuo cut me off, and I stared at him in slight surprise. "When he thought you died, he completely broke down. I'd never seen him like that- crying and laughing at the same time. His eyes were dark. He even asked me to kill him."

"What?"

"He's telling the truth, Violet. Izaya hadn't even realized he'd loved you so much. Moreover, he said all those things because he was confused, he didn't understand what he was feeling and he needed you to help him out, to help him figure it out."

"I..." numb in shock, I stared at the trio of my friends who were absolutely not lying. And finally my mask cracked and I lost the smile. My lips quivered for a bit, and then I bawled, latching onto Shizuo's shirt in the process. "I... I just couldn't take it anymore, I'm sorry... I was so tired of everyone always calling me a freak, a monster, I couldn't take any more abuse, I'd had enough of that for 10 whole years! I knew, I thought I knew Izaya couldn't love me, but now I'm just so confused... I would've been fine with staying friends, but I just love him so much, but I love Shizuo too, and I couldn't make him feel any more worry for me, but I couldn't handle any more cutting or crying either... I wanted to die, I still do, but I don't anymore, I'm so confused and Izaya.." I cut off in mid-sentence, almost choking on my tears, and Shizuo gently hugged me, stroking my hair.

"It's alright, Violet. We aren't mad at you anymore, we were just worried. Very worried."

"S- So you don't hate me?" I looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Of course NOT, Baka. I couldn't ever hate you!"

"Yeah, Violet, don't be an idiot."

"We all love you!" typed Celty. "Well, some more than others..." we all laughed, and I sniffed, smiling lightly.

"Then I'm glad I didn't die..." I trailed off, looking at all of them.

"Soooooooooo, what do we do with Izaya?" asked Shinra, addressing the question to everyone in the room. Perplexed, they looked at each other and I just sat there silently, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

"Well... Let's first make a good strong cup of coffee for Violet." typed Celty, starting to head off towards the kitchen. I was back. Back to this world and my old life. But everything was different now, it was all so confusing... Izaya loved me.. Or did he? Oh I was back alright. But back to what, exactly?


	18. Announcement

Dear readers,

I'm temporarily putting this story on hold because

1) I'm depressed

2) Writer's block

3) Food poisoning

4) Watched Akame ga kill and cried rivers in the 6th episode

5) My best friend has left me for Vienna so I'm alooooone

6) I'm depressed and I have a writer's block because she's left to Vienna T_T

sorry for the inconvenience, I'll continue as soon as my mood boosts or as soon as my stomach stops hurting


End file.
